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Monday, August 10, 2009 @ 11:55 PM

it came to a stage where i realise the one who truly understands me is still her
thanks babe (:

its getting worse.
the facade everyone is having
the happy smiles i carve everytime i talk to you
when deep down, the hatred is overwhelming.

how did this happen anyway?

where is he when i need him most?
i just cant hold back my tears anymore.

secretly, deep down in me, i just wana meet you
i really do.

you.
the one that made my life so fucking miserable.
not just mine, but everyone.

you owe me.
you owe us.

you.
the one that is making all this tears wet my cheeks.
not just mine, but everyone.

im tired.
i bet ure enjoying it

mom never taught me to hate.
but you.
youre an exception

sucks to have close friends all busy
and to have new friends all clueless.

with love


Saturday, May 30, 2009 @ 1:19 PM

okay this is a bugger.

note to self: at the end of this post or rather rant, i need to decide whether im withdrawing from NUS or pursuing PFM.

yes im psyched to go NUS and all,
actually i have already even accepted NUS.
even after knowing that NIE is offering me a place in the BA in edu. (after receiving a text at freaking 1 am!)
WELL THATS BECOZ,
i ASSUMED that the interviewers werent moved by what i said, and they still gave me a place in malay specialisation.
which i am very RELUCTANT to pursue.

dad asked me to wait for a lil while more,
but nup, i accepted NUS coz afterall MOE is taking its own sweet time to give me the letter.
i kinda noe im in the malay specialisation shit.
since i went for that interview.

so its 30 MAY,
and i received a letter from MOE
saying.
"i am selected for the Bachelor of Arts (Education) (primary) programme"
which basically means NO MALAY SPECIALISATION.

and YES,
by 1 JUNE also,
i had to accept NUS and send in a letter for my student card.

so i was in a dilemma wasnt i?
as if i would have time to accept NUS if i were to wait for MOE.

i have alwaes been wanting to do project and facilities management, yes ppl keep saying " bla bla bla its building shit bla bla"
yes it is,
but i guess, it really is time now to know where im heading to and not just doing things on the surface.
i wana specialise in smth.
and plus i can double major in management from sch of biz.
yes okay, double major is crazy, heh.
and plus, if i were to pursue PFM, im basically a student of FREAKING NUS!
i mean, come on, its NUS for eff's sake!
and plus, NUS have got many opportunities for me ryte? (insecure much?)
like the billions of camp, and the hostel (which my dad has been bugging me abt it), the studnt exchange prgm, the third language thingy, the attachment with capitaland! ( I AM SO BUGGING DORIS TAN FOR CAPITALAND'S HR NO. FOR INTERNSHIP), sorry aliff ((:
okay and i know going to NUS is not all so rosy, i mean, i know i have to work my ass off!
and yes im prepared to do that, i guess. heh
(doubting as i look at the unemployed-korean drama junkie-part time tutor-waking up late-doing absolutely nth me)
okay the exchange prgm is off the hook, i have to not get a single C at all in my entire life in NUS.
but noeing me, the slacky me, the heck care me. yeah right.

then WE HAVE NIE!
argh!
teaching teaching teaching.
the satisfaction that u can get after successfully teaching someone, is really overwhelming.
i have to agree with that.
and the security of having a job after i freaking graduate! i mean, even if i get into NUS, it DOESNT GUARANTEE ME AN EFFING JOB!
yes the stress of a teacher is hecticly crazy,
but i dun noe? which job doesnt have the word STRESS all around it? PFFT.
and plus, i heard ppl keep saying NIE is pretty slack and all as compared to the other courses lah.
i mean come on, after 8 EFFING MONTHS OF SLACKING, i wonder how my brain is gg to respond to the WORK LOAD NUS/NIE will have for me.
now im starting to feel kesian for the guys. TSK.
i mean, i have alwaes wanted to teach, but yes i keep doubting myself, coz ive nvr seen myself literally teaching (tutoring doesnt count) and i dun noe if thats my forte.
and if it aint, then the effing 4 YEAR BOND will be a killer, ryte?

okay fine, even if i were to go NUS, once i graduate i actually can enrol myself in NIE, to teach.
yeah.
but.
FICKLE MUCH?
another two years of studying?

AND ASRIDA IF URE READING THIS,
I CAN SO IMAGINE U LAUGHING URE ASS OFF.
and saying " 1480!"

okay maybe this NIE thing looks EXTRA attractive becoz of that.
but i will be shit independent.
but gg in NIE coz of that is somewhat WRONG, i mean, its for the wrong reasons.

EFF!

OKAY U NOE WHAT. time check: 1.30

i think its really NUS for me. time check 1.53
hah that took a short while to get to a conclusion.
right

lets just hope its for the best (((((:
i am not regretting this.
am i?

oh man.

this better be worth my precious 4 years


Wednesday, May 13, 2009 @ 8:49 PM


a letter written to Mr postman with much love and emotions (:

Dear Mr. Postman,


Wait, oh yes wait a minute mister postman

Wait, wait mister postman

ive been waiting and looking out for Mr. postman.
if only Mr postman is some hot dude, at least, im killing two birds with one stone
oh well. if only

Mister postman look and see
You got a letter in your bag for me
I been waiting such a long time
Since I heard from that girl of mine

oh so suddenly, i feel like im in the same boat as the beatles ):
yeah yeah that LEGEN wait for it DARY boyband.
tho, they were waiting fora letter from some girl they fell in love with.
mine aint so lovey dovey as that, tho i wish that wud have happenned.
im waiting for nonetheless, a letter from the boring unis.
and yes i have been waiting for MONTHS.
and the last time i heard from them thru mail, is asking me to pay their application fees )):
lets still have faith and hope :/

There must be some word today
From my girlfriend so far away
Please mister postman look and see
If there's a letter, a letter for me
I been standing here waiting mister postman
So patiently
For just a card or just a letter
Saying she's returning home to me

and everyday i hope, theres smth that can make me go " yeay! alhamdulillah" and like how in all the typical hollywood movies wud show, the actor/actress will come running home, reading the letter on the way. smiling to herself and calling up everyone possible. and they would have the classic SQUEKY SHOUT where the whole neighbourhood would then noe which university u'll be attending. i want that, so bad.
and there were those days when i just feel like going up to Mr. postman, or rather, reality check:
postwoman aunties riding on bikes or postman mats riding on their motorcycles, and just asking " can u please please just see if u came accross my letter from NUS/NIE/NTU??"
maybe i havent been patient enough, but the wait, is killing me :/ and its not helping if one by one, ure friends get calls and acceptance letters.
oh oh. Mr. postman, just tell me that letter is coming (:

So many days you passed me by
See the tear standing in my eye
You didn't stop to make me feel better
By leaving me a card or a letter

well like i said, its been months waiting,
and maybe u didnt have to really go pass my house,
therefore u didnt realise the tear in my eye ):
but im really desperate mr. postman,
pls pretty pls?
w/ cherries on top of it (: yeah?

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta check it and see, one more time for me

u just have to check it one more time,
really really.
to satisfy this paranoia.
else i get whinyyy.
and NO ONE likes it when im whinyyy..
esp you (:
so you, are you mr. postman?

like what me and fifi concluded maybe we shud whine and be a lil bit paranoid to get smth.
like how me and fifi were parnoid and a lil bit whiny, but hey we both passed our TP with 10 points (: ILI YOU SHUD WHINE TOO. RESULTS HAVE SHOWN (:

so mr postman, shud i whine?
i really dun wana start working yet.
))):

Wait
Wait
Wait
Deliver the letter, the sooner the better

soon yeah? (:
i'll be waiting ((:

hugs and kisses,
yours truly,
me (:


Monday, May 11, 2009 @ 3:50 PM

Brisbane trip 4th june-10 june 2008

yes that was yonks ago. haha.
oh i miss bne ):
so apparently aswie has an aeroplane but no pilot to take us there.
BUT. i have a jet which is self automated (read: thomas and friends plane version) HEH (:
so. lets go bne now!

shopping day i think.

cheesy chicken kebabs. so far the best kebabs i tasted (:

when the sun is super glaring, but its oh so cold.

felt bangla-ish when we were sitting on the field eating fish and chips.


the day that i learned aussies are super laid back ppl even during concerts ((:

so far i think its the best. if u can see firah, then its all good (: firah's cam died on us, explains ay?

south bank

yussy who looks like hanis heh
year threes, oh i mean graduates (:

angklung love (:


its only tidy coz we alr packed (:


albeit the comfy queen sized beds they provided, we prefered sleeping in front of the teevee (:

w/ the bus driver
check out the orbs. or is it obs? well wtevr


the drummers

pretty pretty sky


when its in the wee morning and faz and aswie is not back yet from the hosp


dreamworld day i think

sick. credits to fir


halal tak was was restaurant (: LOL

room mates.

PERTH PICS NEXT ENTRY!
tho i didnt take that much pics.
lol
FINNALY I UPDATED BOUT BNE.
sheeeeesh

goooooooodluckkk harfia!!!
kick ass during the TP okay (((:
call me up in the middle of the night if paranoia hits u suddenly
I'LL STILL BE THERE FOR YOU.
like how u were there for me,
thats what friends do ((:
LOVEEEE YOU!




Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 8:08 PM

shucks, i dun even know how to start this post.
ive got overdue events that i have been longing to tell everyone.
ive got a billion bitching i wanna bitch about.
ive got heaps of pictures i need to post which prolly will take forever.
ive got tons of kental moments i wana share , or may be not.
ive got loads of time now since im practically doing nth at home.
but laziness is taking the best of me (((:

one said " if u ever have the feeling to do smth, just sit around and wait, the feeling will go away"
ohhh that can so be my motto.

hafui's TWENTY FIRST .
much emphasis on the twenty first hey.


huge surprise at work


dinner over at swensens

zp's chalet at SAF seaview resort

midnight ride?

when its alr 5 and u have got nth else to do


ali's try


when fun meets wrong


intertwined
(:

overdued brisbane trip and perth trip will be up next? i hope. i promise ((:

anyhow.
im still waiting for miracles to happen at this point of time.
its been a mth since a levels results were released?
and yet, im still waiting to be accepted by the local unis.
i mean, face it. im quite happy with my grades, tho its not like a AAA kind of grades.
but im proud of myself, still.

NIE interview went down the drain when i got to know that i had to teach malay.
like really? just coz i got a freaking B doesnt mean im prepared to teach malay.

me: aswie, how i said im not prepared to teach malay.
aswie: u teaching malay. shucks. its like....
me: i know ryte. imagine u have to teach english.
aswie : MATI AHHH.

exactly how i felt. nuff' said.

tutoring has been a okay (:
it feels oh so good when u get a text saying " i followed ure method and i understood everything during the paper!"
PHEW!
the satisfaction was great period

Project facilities management interview was good, i guess, atleast thats how i want to think of it.

interviewers: heyy. ready for a debate?
me: debate? err. okaay.
interviewers: haha yeahh! best speakerr. debater for MI. daughter of ANWAR somemore, politician.
me: HAHAHA right, so lets debate.
interviewers: haha! last time i check i was a lawyer.

what a way to break the ice. now NUS sch of design and environment, just frigging give me a snail mail telling me im accepted! pls pretty pls.
argh.

woo and i wana thank fazzie to teman me to the interview ((((:

fazzie: ure starting to blank out.
me: DUH! seram okay.
fazzie: i know u too well.

and guess what,
once i parked the car, i just got out, and walked out like HERO.
and when my senses got into me..

me: FAZZIE! WAIT!
fazzie: what?
me: im wearing slippers! and my certs all in the car!
fazzie: YOU ARE SOOOOO PREPARED.
me: oh fuck you.

SAAAAYAAAANGG FAZZIE (:

thanks for sorting out my paranoia and still not complaining. HEH (((((((((((:
but still babe, hougang still damn far lah!


me, ili and fir had a kental moment. thats all i can say.
wasted petrol
wasted time
wasted energy
laughed till i cant breathe
laughed till i had a headache
super kental i swear.
but ili is even more kental
coz she deleted ALL the pics.

bne and perth pics next, really really. ((:







Friday, January 16, 2009 @ 4:01 PM

omg. i feel super pathetic.
i really do.
well, im down with a flu and really damn high fever.
so first day at hewitt wasnt a good start for me,
well not coz, they bully me or smth. haha.
first, i was alr down with a flu on wednesday.
secondly, the office is located in antartica, super cold okay.
third, because of that, half of the time, im shivering and crying.
fourth, my migraine was killing me softly.

so ppl kept saying " first day aje dah sakit"
okay wth.
i was alr sick before i started work okay.
so anyhow.
work was fine
had to do some filing and crap.
ohh when that lady said " okay u have to help me sort out this documents accordingly"
then it got me thinking, "hah! since when do i ever file my stuff"
so i hope, work will be a-okay on monday.
theres really loads of files to sort out.
now i feel bad for not coming to work tday.
haha!
but really, i feel like shit.
ohh i got an mc, i dun just go AWOL okay.

soo, i didnt meet up with the girls for dinner
how to? was super sick man
dad picked me up, and as soon as i got into the car
i slept.
i know buruk to the max.

being sick sucks, i know.
but its kinda good.
hahaha!
well coz, whenever im sick, i never have the apetite to eat
well atleast that just happens for me.
soo in other words, im like dieting (((:
i feel good alr.
LOL

omg! anyhow.
during lunch yestd, it was fawesome ((:
so me, kak nad, and nana ( she doesnt want me to call her kak nana coz it makes her feel old)
so we were eating at this restaurant
and came this indian guy and a hot caucasian guy.
OH GOD.
so kak nad noticed him first.
and we were all awed, i swear.
and so he was sitting a few tables away from us, with his back facing us.
and there were times he turned and looked ((((:
super gatal i know.
and here we are the girls, we were wondering if hes like american or oz or what.
andd he spoke so loud, he has this weird accent, soo i think hes arab-ish or european? i dun noe.
then i think the indian guy kinda noticed and told him that we have been noticing him or rather talking about him.
so i think he noticed we noticed him. hahaha!
andd when we left, he totally turned and smiled.
MELTS.
HOT.
ohh, we had naan, and didnt finish it.
soo i thought of trading the naan for his no.
i noe what a way ryte.
desperate times calls for desperate measures.
soo kak nad said " nurul doesnt work that way, just go up to him and ask for his no."
hahahaha!
wth. nahh we left empty handed ):
but hey! who noes we'd bump into him again (((:

anyhow..
theres loads of pictures that i need to post up,
but theres really too much.
soo i will do that if i have the time too,
or rather,
when im bothered to do so.



Tuesday, December 02, 2008 @ 11:19 PM

omggggosh. u have got no idea how delighted i am. few months ago, my laptop died on me. it was during the a levels period. so i guess, hah. what a good time to stay focus on my a's. BUT. i was effing sad, for the fact that my PICTURES, will all be GONE. eff. so i recently sent it for repair and the guy was super hilarious.

the guy: waaahh. u dropped ur laptop before huh?
me: yeah, or rather my brother did few mths ago.
the guy: u never send for repair?
me: ohh i didt, coz it was still working, now then cannot switch on
the guy: aiyooo. u got fever, u still go doctor ryte? u cannot see how fever is like ryte?

NO SERIOUSLY. WHAT A SMACK IN MY FACE.

now that i collected it just a few days back.. here is what he said to me.

the guy: u very lucky, ur laptop still can be saved ah.
me: ohh haha thanks
the guy: i manage to save all ur data ahh. (laughing and giggling). those data not important, throw.

FUCK FUCK FUCK. HE PROBABLY EFFING WENT THRU MY BILLION PICTURES (not as if i have nude pics) BUT SERIOUSLY. PRIVACY MAN.

the guy: take care of ur babyyy. dun just chat on messenger.

WHAT THE MOOSE. I WAS PRAYING HE DIDNT READ ALL MY CHAT LOGS.

on a brighter note, who cares, i pray i dun have to see him again. whatever. I HAVE ALMOST EVERY DAMN PICTURE. u have got no idea how surprised i am to see some pics (((((((((:

remember breakfast with aliff and syahira, then to aliff's. OH GOD. i didnt noe i still had those pics.

mclovin

aliff's alwaes trying to be hot and all. and i think heira was reffering to his smelly drooled-on pillows


aliff will alwaes be a chingchong, heira with her huge specs, and i have alwaes wanted big eyes .


((:

theeen.. i found jumpshot pictures at SMU, pardon the burukness.

after a BILLION AND ONE try-shots

theeeeenn... i found pictures from benjay's party.


LOOK AT HAFUI'S HAIR


this is getting crazy!!!!!

ANYWAYY. im like sibling-less for like 2 days alrr. gosh i miss those mofos. they went to oz earlier than me, alone. can u imagine? afifa was super scared, more to like she just refuse to trust ashraf. LOL. hilarious. so me, mom and dad went to send them off at the airport, aiman and akmal tagged along.

fifa, ash and akmal

does aiman not look like a monkey to u?

then the boys got super creative. not to mention oh so cute.

akmal: kak nurul, look, ive got long hands
me: what? seirously.

aiman: eh. me too.

i had to ask akmal to bend down, else his hand will be too high. haha

chalet was interesting. tho i only went for 2 days one night, it felt soooo tiring. maybe coz of ake recoding. ANYWAY. u have got no idea how relieved i am. OMG.
before going for the chalet, i made some research of SAF CHANGI CHALET. and wht i got from yahoo!, was some pretty scary online sites, of ghost stories that happened there.

dad: which chalet u gg?
me: saf changi chalet
dad: its next to OCH u noee.
me: yeahh but i dun noe, aiyah everywhere also got ghost
dad: haha. up to u lor.

THEN, on the day itself during the bus ride, we were alr lost, and plus, there was this weird couple who has obviously been eavesdrop-ing and like talked to us. wth, not needed.

andddd when we saw the creepy chalet from the bus, me and hendra were like exchanging glances, not noeing what to expect.

once alighted, as we were walking, ali was talking to zp on the phone

ali: ehhhh its not further down, its this one SAF SEAVIEW RESORT
me: are u sure not?? this does nt look scary, i think its the one below.
hendra: yeahhh cant be this one
ali: zp say this one!!

DELIGHTED I TELL U. no ghost hauntings, private bbq, theres the seaview, tho we still had to sleep like sardines packed in a can.

hendra: i mite wana stay for another nite
me: I KNOWWWW! coz it does not look scary and its nice rytee
hendra: YAHHH. if its the other one, i dun think i cn even sleep properly.

LOL.

i havent got all the pics. thuss, i shall update about this on the next entry ((:







.fizah. fairuz. farisha. heira. syafiq. fazzie. rou qin. firah. hady. ili. harfia. amal. hendra. josephine. luqman. fareez. sirajuddin. asri. yusri. ani. lydia. khairul. massha. izzatee. olivia. pei meng. fadilah. faraaz. bao ling. juraidah. fatin. faizal. hajar. maisarah. atika. sofie asrida cheryl