nurulatika

2009-08-10T23:55:00.002+08:00

it came to a stage where i realise the one who truly understands me is still her
thanks babe (:

its getting worse.
the facade everyone is having
the happy smiles i carve everytime i talk to you
when deep down, the hatred is overwhelming.

how did this happen anyway?

where is he when i need him most?
i just cant hold back my tears anymore.

secretly, deep down in me, i just wana meet you
i really do.

you.
the one that made my life so fucking miserable.
not just mine, but everyone.

you owe me.
you owe us.

you.
the one that is making all this tears wet my cheeks.
not just mine, but everyone.

im tired.
i bet ure enjoying it

mom never taught me to hate.
but you.
youre an exception

sucks to have close friends all busy
and to have new friends all clueless.

with love

2009-05-30T13:19:00.003+08:00

okay this is a bugger.

note to self: at the end of this post or rather rant, i need to decide whether im withdrawing from NUS or pursuing PFM.

yes im psyched to go NUS and all,
actually i have already even accepted NUS.
even after knowing that NIE is offering me a place in the BA in edu. (after receiving a text at freaking 1 am!)
WELL THATS BECOZ,
i ASSUMED that the interviewers werent moved by what i said, and they still gave me a place in malay specialisation.
which i am very RELUCTANT to pursue.

dad asked me to wait for a lil while more,
but nup, i accepted NUS coz afterall MOE is taking its own sweet time to give me the letter.
i kinda noe im in the malay specialisation shit.
since i went for that interview.

so its 30 MAY,
and i received a letter from MOE
saying.
"i am selected for the Bachelor of Arts (Education) (primary) programme"
which basically means NO MALAY SPECIALISATION.

and YES,
by 1 JUNE also,
i had to accept NUS and send in a letter for my student card.

so i was in a dilemma wasnt i?
as if i would have time to accept NUS if i were to wait for MOE.

i have alwaes been wanting to do project and facilities management, yes ppl keep saying " bla bla bla its building shit bla bla"
yes it is,
but i guess, it really is time now to know where im heading to and not just doing things on the surface.
i wana specialise in smth.
and plus i can double major in management from sch of biz.
yes okay, double major is crazy, heh.
and plus, if i were to pursue PFM, im basically a student of FREAKING NUS!
i mean, come on, its NUS for eff's sake!
and plus, NUS have got many opportunities for me ryte? (insecure much?)
like the billions of camp, and the hostel (which my dad has been bugging me abt it), the studnt exchange prgm, the third language thingy, the attachment with capitaland! ( I AM SO BUGGING DORIS TAN FOR CAPITALAND'S HR NO. FOR INTERNSHIP), sorry aliff ((:
okay and i know going to NUS is not all so rosy, i mean, i know i have to work my ass off!
and yes im prepared to do that, i guess. heh
(doubting as i look at the unemployed-korean drama junkie-part time tutor-waking up late-doing absolutely nth me)
okay the exchange prgm is off the hook, i have to not get a single C at all in my entire life in NUS.
but noeing me, the slacky me, the heck care me. yeah right.

then WE HAVE NIE!
argh!
teaching teaching teaching.
the satisfaction that u can get after successfully teaching someone, is really overwhelming.
i have to agree with that.
and the security of having a job after i freaking graduate! i mean, even if i get into NUS, it DOESNT GUARANTEE ME AN EFFING JOB!
yes the stress of a teacher is hecticly crazy,
but i dun noe? which job doesnt have the word STRESS all around it? PFFT.
and plus, i heard ppl keep saying NIE is pretty slack and all as compared to the other courses lah.
i mean come on, after 8 EFFING MONTHS OF SLACKING, i wonder how my brain is gg to respond to the WORK LOAD NUS/NIE will have for me.
now im starting to feel kesian for the guys. TSK.
i mean, i have alwaes wanted to teach, but yes i keep doubting myself, coz ive nvr seen myself literally teaching (tutoring doesnt count) and i dun noe if thats my forte.
and if it aint, then the effing 4 YEAR BOND will be a killer, ryte?

okay fine, even if i were to go NUS, once i graduate i actually can enrol myself in NIE, to teach.
yeah.
but.
FICKLE MUCH?
another two years of studying?

AND ASRIDA IF URE READING THIS,
I CAN SO IMAGINE U LAUGHING URE ASS OFF.
and saying " 1480!"

okay maybe this NIE thing looks EXTRA attractive becoz of that.
but i will be shit independent.
but gg in NIE coz of that is somewhat WRONG, i mean, its for the wrong reasons.

EFF!

OKAY U NOE WHAT. time check: 1.30

i think its really NUS for me. time check 1.53
hah that took a short while to get to a conclusion.
right

lets just hope its for the best (((((:
i am not regretting this.
am i?

oh man.

this better be worth my precious 4 years

2009-05-13T20:49:00.005+08:00

a letter written to Mr postman with much love and emotions (:

Dear Mr. Postman,

Wait, oh yes wait a minute mister postman
Wait, wait mister postman

ive been waiting and looking out for Mr. postman.
if only Mr postman is some hot dude, at least, im killing two birds with one stone
oh well. if only

Mister postman look and see
You got a letter in your bag for me
I been waiting such a long time
Since I heard from that girl of mine

oh so suddenly, i feel like im in the same boat as the beatles ):
yeah yeah that LEGEN wait for it DARY boyband.
tho, they were waiting fora letter from some girl they fell in love with.
mine aint so lovey dovey as that, tho i wish that wud have happenned.
im waiting for nonetheless, a letter from the boring unis.
and yes i have been waiting for MONTHS.
and the last time i heard from them thru mail, is asking me to pay their application fees )):
lets still have faith and hope :/

There must be some word today
From my girlfriend so far away
Please mister postman look and see
If there's a letter, a letter for me
I been standing here waiting mister postman
So patiently
For just a card or just a letter
Saying she's returning home to me

and everyday i hope, theres smth that can make me go " yeay! alhamdulillah" and like how in all the typical hollywood movies wud show, the actor/actress will come running home, reading the letter on the way. smiling to herself and calling up everyone possible. and they would have the classic SQUEKY SHOUT where the whole neighbourhood would then noe which university u'll be attending. i want that, so bad.
and there were those days when i just feel like going up to Mr. postman, or rather, reality check:
postwoman aunties riding on bikes or postman mats riding on their motorcycles, and just asking " can u please please just see if u came accross my letter from NUS/NIE/NTU??"
maybe i havent been patient enough, but the wait, is killing me :/ and its not helping if one by one, ure friends get calls and acceptance letters.
oh oh. Mr. postman, just tell me that letter is coming (:

So many days you passed me by
See the tear standing in my eye
You didn't stop to make me feel better
By leaving me a card or a letter

well like i said, its been months waiting,
and maybe u didnt have to really go pass my house,
therefore u didnt realise the tear in my eye ):
but im really desperate mr. postman,
pls pretty pls?
w/ cherries on top of it (: yeah?

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta check it and see, one more time for me

u just have to check it one more time,
really really.
to satisfy this paranoia.
else i get whinyyy.
and NO ONE likes it when im whinyyy..
esp you (:
so you, are you mr. postman?

like what me and fifi concluded maybe we shud whine and be a lil bit paranoid to get smth.
like how me and fifi were parnoid and a lil bit whiny, but hey we both passed our TP with 10 points (: ILI YOU SHUD WHINE TOO. RESULTS HAVE SHOWN (:

so mr postman, shud i whine?
i really dun wana start working yet.
))):

Wait
Wait
Wait
Deliver the letter, the sooner the better

soon yeah? (:
i'll be waiting ((:

hugs and kisses,
yours truly,
me (:

2009-05-11T15:50:00.032+08:00

Brisbane trip 4th june-10 june 2008

yes that was yonks ago. haha.
oh i miss bne ):
so apparently aswie has an aeroplane but no pilot to take us there.
BUT. i have a jet which is self automated (read: thomas and friends plane version) HEH (:
so. lets go bne now!

shopping day i think.

cheesy chicken kebabs. so far the best kebabs i tasted (:

when the sun is super glaring, but its oh so cold.

felt bangla-ish when we were sitting on the field eating fish and chips.

the day that i learned aussies are super laid back ppl even during concerts ((:

so far i think its the best. if u can see firah, then its all good (: firah's cam died on us, explains ay?

south bank

yussy who looks like hanis heh
year threes, oh i mean graduates (:

angklung love (:

its only tidy coz we alr packed (:

albeit the comfy queen sized beds they provided, we prefered sleeping in front of the teevee (:

w/ the bus driver
check out the orbs. or is it obs? well wtevr

the drummers

pretty pretty sky

when its in the wee morning and faz and aswie is not back yet from the hosp

dreamworld day i think

sick. credits to fir

halal tak was was restaurant (: LOL

room mates.

PERTH PICS NEXT ENTRY!
tho i didnt take that much pics.
lol

FINNALY I UPDATED BOUT BNE.
sheeeeesh

goooooooodluckkk harfia!!!
kick ass during the TP okay (((:
call me up in the middle of the night if paranoia hits u suddenly
I'LL STILL BE THERE FOR YOU.
like how u were there for me,
thats what friends do ((:
LOVEEEE YOU!

2009-05-10T20:08:00.014+08:00

shucks, i dun even know how to start this post.
ive got overdue events that i have been longing to tell everyone.
ive got a billion bitching i wanna bitch about.
ive got heaps of pictures i need to post which prolly will take forever.
ive got tons of kental moments i wana share , or may be not.
ive got loads of time now since im practically doing nth at home.
but laziness is taking the best of me (((:

one said " if u ever have the feeling to do smth, just sit around and wait, the feeling will go away"
ohhh that can so be my motto.

hafui's TWENTY FIRST .
much emphasis on the twenty first hey.

huge surprise at work

dinner over at swensens

zp's chalet at SAF seaview resort

midnight ride?

when its alr 5 and u have got nth else to do

ali's try

when fun meets wrong

intertwined
(:

overdued brisbane trip and perth trip will be up next? i hope. i promise ((:

anyhow.
im still waiting for miracles to happen at this point of time.
its been a mth since a levels results were released?
and yet, im still waiting to be accepted by the local unis.
i mean, face it. im quite happy with my grades, tho its not like a AAA kind of grades.
but im proud of myself, still.

NIE interview went down the drain when i got to know that i had to teach malay.
like really? just coz i got a freaking B doesnt mean im prepared to teach malay.

me: aswie, how i said im not prepared to teach malay.
aswie: u teaching malay. shucks. its like....
me: i know ryte. imagine u have to teach english.
aswie : MATI AHHH.

exactly how i felt. nuff' said.

tutoring has been a okay (:
it feels oh so good when u get a text saying " i followed ure method and i understood everything during the paper!"
PHEW!
the satisfaction was great period

Project facilities management interview was good, i guess, atleast thats how i want to think of it.

interviewers: heyy. ready for a debate?
me: debate? err. okaay.
interviewers: haha yeahh! best speakerr. debater for MI. daughter of ANWAR somemore, politician.
me: HAHAHA right, so lets debate.
interviewers: haha! last time i check i was a lawyer.

what a way to break the ice. now NUS sch of design and environment, just frigging give me a snail mail telling me im accepted! pls pretty pls.
argh.

woo and i wana thank fazzie to teman me to the interview ((((:

fazzie: ure starting to blank out.
me: DUH! seram okay.
fazzie: i know u too well.

and guess what,
once i parked the car, i just got out, and walked out like HERO.
and when my senses got into me..

me: FAZZIE! WAIT!
fazzie: what?
me: im wearing slippers! and my certs all in the car!
fazzie: YOU ARE SOOOOO PREPARED.
me: oh fuck you.

SAAAAYAAAANGG FAZZIE (:

thanks for sorting out my paranoia and still not complaining. HEH (((((((((((:
but still babe, hougang still damn far lah!

me, ili and fir had a kental moment. thats all i can say.
wasted petrol
wasted time
wasted energy
laughed till i cant breathe
laughed till i had a headache
super kental i swear.
but ili is even more kental
coz she deleted ALL the pics.

bne and perth pics next, really really. ((:

2009-01-16T16:01:00.004+08:00

omg. i feel super pathetic.

i really do.
well, im down with a flu and really damn high fever.
so first day at hewitt wasnt a good start for me,
well not coz, they bully me or smth. haha.
first, i was alr down with a flu on wednesday.
secondly, the office is located in antartica, super cold okay.
third, because of that, half of the time, im shivering and crying.
fourth, my migraine was killing me softly.

so ppl kept saying " first day aje dah sakit"
okay wth.
i was alr sick before i started work okay.
so anyhow.
work was fine
had to do some filing and crap.
ohh when that lady said " okay u have to help me sort out this documents accordingly"
then it got me thinking, "hah! since when do i ever file my stuff"
so i hope, work will be a-okay on monday.
theres really loads of files to sort out.
now i feel bad for not coming to work tday.
haha!
but really, i feel like shit.
ohh i got an mc, i dun just go AWOL okay.

soo, i didnt meet up with the girls for dinner
how to? was super sick man
dad picked me up, and as soon as i got into the car
i slept.
i know buruk to the max.

being sick sucks, i know.
but its kinda good.
hahaha!
well coz, whenever im sick, i never have the apetite to eat
well atleast that just happens for me.
soo in other words, im like dieting (((:
i feel good alr.
LOL

omg! anyhow.
during lunch yestd, it was fawesome ((:
so me, kak nad, and nana ( she doesnt want me to call her kak nana coz it makes her feel old)
so we were eating at this restaurant
and came this indian guy and a hot caucasian guy.
OH GOD.
so kak nad noticed him first.
and we were all awed, i swear.
and so he was sitting a few tables away from us, with his back facing us.
and there were times he turned and looked ((((:
super gatal i know.
and here we are the girls, we were wondering if hes like american or oz or what.
andd he spoke so loud, he has this weird accent, soo i think hes arab-ish or european? i dun noe.
then i think the indian guy kinda noticed and told him that we have been noticing him or rather talking about him.
so i think he noticed we noticed him. hahaha!
andd when we left, he totally turned and smiled.
MELTS.
HOT.
ohh, we had naan, and didnt finish it.
soo i thought of trading the naan for his no.
i noe what a way ryte.
desperate times calls for desperate measures.
soo kak nad said " nurul doesnt work that way, just go up to him and ask for his no."
hahahaha!
wth. nahh we left empty handed ):
but hey! who noes we'd bump into him again (((:

anyhow..
theres loads of pictures that i need to post up,
but theres really too much.
soo i will do that if i have the time too,
or rather,
when im bothered to do so.

2008-12-02T23:19:00.020+08:00

omggggosh. u have got no idea how delighted i am. few months ago, my laptop died on me. it was during the a levels period. so i guess, hah. what a good time to stay focus on my a's. BUT. i was effing sad, for the fact that my PICTURES, will all be GONE. eff. so i recently sent it for repair and the guy was super hilarious.

the guy: waaahh. u dropped ur laptop before huh?
me: yeah, or rather my brother did few mths ago.
the guy: u never send for repair?
me: ohh i didt, coz it was still working, now then cannot switch on
the guy: aiyooo. u got fever, u still go doctor ryte? u cannot see how fever is like ryte?

NO SERIOUSLY. WHAT A SMACK IN MY FACE.

now that i collected it just a few days back.. here is what he said to me.

the guy: u very lucky, ur laptop still can be saved ah.
me: ohh haha thanks

the guy: i manage to save all ur data ahh. (laughing and giggling). those data not important, throw.

FUCK FUCK FUCK. HE PROBABLY EFFING WENT THRU MY BILLION PICTURES (not as if i have nude pics) BUT SERIOUSLY. PRIVACY MAN.

the guy: take care of ur babyyy. dun just chat on messenger.

WHAT THE MOOSE. I WAS PRAYING HE DIDNT READ ALL MY CHAT LOGS.

on a brighter note, who cares, i pray i dun have to see him again. whatever. I HAVE ALMOST EVERY DAMN PICTURE. u have got no idea how surprised i am to see some pics (((((((((:

remember breakfast with aliff and syahira, then to aliff's. OH GOD. i didnt noe i still had those pics.

mclovin

aliff's alwaes trying to be hot and all. and i think heira was reffering to his smelly drooled-on pillows

aliff will alwaes be a chingchong, heira with her huge specs, and i have alwaes wanted big eyes .

((:

theeen.. i found jumpshot pictures at SMU, pardon the burukness.

after a BILLION AND ONE try-shots

theeeeenn... i found pictures from benjay's party.

LOOK AT HAFUI'S HAIR

this is getting crazy!!!!!

ANYWAYY. im like sibling-less for like 2 days alrr. gosh i miss those mofos. they went to oz earlier than me, alone. can u imagine? afifa was super scared, more to like she just refuse to trust ashraf. LOL. hilarious. so me, mom and dad went to send them off at the airport, aiman and akmal tagged along.

fifa, ash and akmal

does aiman not look like a monkey to u?

then the boys got super creative. not to mention oh so cute.

akmal: kak nurul, look, ive got long hands
me: what? seirously.

aiman: eh. me too.

i had to ask akmal to bend down, else his hand will be too high. haha

chalet was interesting. tho i only went for 2 days one night, it felt soooo tiring. maybe coz of ake recoding. ANYWAY. u have got no idea how relieved i am. OMG.
before going for the chalet, i made some research of SAF CHANGI CHALET. and wht i got from yahoo!, was some pretty scary online sites, of ghost stories that happened there.

dad: which chalet u gg?
me: saf changi chalet
dad: its next to OCH u noee.
me: yeahh but i dun noe, aiyah everywhere also got ghost
dad: haha. up to u lor.

THEN, on the day itself during the bus ride, we were alr lost, and plus, there was this weird couple who has obviously been eavesdrop-ing and like talked to us. wth, not needed.

andddd when we saw the creepy chalet from the bus, me and hendra were like exchanging glances, not noeing what to expect.

once alighted, as we were walking, ali was talking to zp on the phone

ali: ehhhh its not further down, its this one SAF SEAVIEW RESORT
me: are u sure not?? this does nt look scary, i think its the one below.
hendra: yeahhh cant be this one
ali: zp say this one!!

DELIGHTED I TELL U. no ghost hauntings, private bbq, theres the seaview, tho we still had to sleep like sardines packed in a can.

hendra: i mite wana stay for another nite
me: I KNOWWWW! coz it does not look scary and its nice rytee
hendra: YAHHH. if its the other one, i dun think i cn even sleep properly.

LOL.

i havent got all the pics. thuss, i shall update about this on the next entry ((:

2008-11-29T23:02:00.014+08:00

first and foremost, fazzie, im sorry for ur loss.

life has got to move on,

shes in a better place ryte now ((:

i love you babe, seriously i sincerely do.

heees.

NOW THAT I HAVE SO MUCH TIME,

i swear im getting bored rotting at home with no ka chings.

cant wait for the chalet.

cant wait for ake recording to be over.

cant wait to laugh at hafui learning how to ride a bicycle.

cant wait to do all the activities that we never get to.

cant wait to meet up with some loves.

cant wait to go ard the world (hafui????)

cant wait to not take public transport.

cant wait for the trip to oz.

cant wait to get a bloody job.

EMPLOY ME SOMEONE.

okay only after 27 dec ((:

anyway. went out with fairuz just now.

she gave me some love.

pretty pretty love.

now that sounds wrong.

mom was pretty amazed with the work babe (:

thumbs up for SITI FAIRUZ (:

she didnt allow to upload pics, dangg.

oh and she calls the typewriter thing ' ke tak ke tak ke tak ke tak'

someone go date her pls.

she keeps gg like " i nak bf ahh. "

okaaaaay fairuz.

whats best for u is...

GRAB AND MARRY

just like hafui. ((((:

syafiq syafiq...

syafiq my bestfriend syafiq...

so whats the surprise?

heh (((:

starbucks???

syafeeq,

i noe ure not really reading this.

but hell,

yestd's convo was fawesome.

crazily fawesome.

sorry if i was terlalu giler. heh.

i miss cdans

i miss those cj mofos.

LOL.

FIFI,

big enough?

u are one serious nut case.

THATS IT. hahaha.

naaah.

fifi, eventho most of the times,

u shud be strangled.

i still love you.

HAFUI,

quick pass ur driving license laahh.

u had blardy three years.

quick quick.

alegro alegro.

cepat cepat.

then can apply for amazing race ASAP.

thru amazing race,

I HOPE I CAN UNDERSTAND U BETTER.

so shud we be college friends?

or friends?

or bitches?

or WHAAAAT?

HAHA.

ILI AQILAH,

aka snow white

aka bitchoche

QUIT BITCHING ALR.

i will still wonder how u got so tall.

so have u got ur guitar hero???

nak go ur house.

NOW.

((((:

MASSHA,

whiny whiny massha.

LOVE YA BABE.

and tell mr p,

i SELALU bathe in the morn okay.

and massha,

u will alwaes be the girl who eats a lot but never grow fat.

makaaann ajeee.

FIZAAAAAAAHHH,

have i told u how sorry i am?

have i told u i love you?

HOW MANY YEARS HAS IT BEEN ALR??

dangg.

CHERRRYLL.

u are one super sweet bitch.

thanks for the videos.

not forgetting the unglam pictures in it.

u know sometimes, when i apparently ignore u on msn,

its just coz i was having my moments.

LOL.

LOVE YOU

ALYSSSSA.

u are forever the smart one.

nobody can beat that.

dang.

thanks for everything babe.

the tuitions, the knowledge needed,

oh and of coz,

thanks for all the info bout POLITICS AND GOSSIPS IN SCH.

heh.

LUUUUUVVVV ALI.

FAZZZZZIIEE

the first person i know in MI,

besides fizah, duh.

BABE.

u have alwaes, alwaes been there for me.

now im here for you (((:

eh. just coz u stay so damn far, HOUGANG IS EFFING FAR OKAY.

u dun make up excuses not to meet us okay.

LOVE YOU

loads of things hapenned.
from grad, to bitching, to a's, to bitching, to bitching again.

grad was AWESOME.

snow white and the 7 dwarfs, oh ryte, that doesnt apply in this context, we were all wearing heels. lol

hafui, my soon to be amazing race mate. LOL

fazzie lovees

with fifi

thats it for now (((:

u must b thinking wtf is wrong with me.

bloggers is effed up, it doesnt read spaces, it doesnt understand paragraphs.

i need wordpress.

AUSTRALIA!

2008-06-12T08:56:00.014+08:00

and soo im back.
australia has been GREAT!
late night chats with room mates (fir, aswie, and faz)
late night hang outs with room mates and ili, haj, mai and aqilah
late night parties.
late night trying out new things
late night sing along sessions.
the frequent mantra "omg its super cold" at night and early morning.
the endless looking out for guys and say " kenapa mcm hot eh?"
performances were all awesome.
got really good comments from the judges. heh
in all,
it has been a great week, really.

terminal 3, departure hall

credits to faz

oh, go figure

not even 10 minutes, apartment is already messy, go figure.

late night hang outs

apartment swimming pool

kelvin grove state college

adorable kids

jack , the music captain (:

dun noe who, the girls and billy

group shot with KGSC

thats all for day 1. i'll update more sometime later. heh ((:

2008-05-13T23:28:00.003+08:00

im tired, very tired.
it has always been AKE, AKE, MOCK EXAMS AND AKE AND TESTS AND MOCK EXAM AND LCCI AND AKE AGAIN.
hell. its been hectic.
u know how this previous posts ive been blabbering about hectic-ness and stuff,
i swear,
this is off the record.
my dark eye rings are getting bad.
ive been too lazy to talk.
ive been trying my best to stay awake during econs.
ive been trying my best to juggle both worlds, ake and studies.

i kinda regret taking the LCCI thing, but heck, i hope its all worth it.

JUNE HOLIDAYS ARE GOING TO BE THE BUSIEST HOLIDAYS EVER!
australia competition, june lessons practically everyday, june LCCI exams .

and and. wtf. 5 MORE MONTHS TO A's.
no really,
time needs to slow down.
its gg wayy too fast.

2008-04-12T19:49:00.003+08:00

noor hendra shahril got an A
kristen Kee got an A
lu Qian ying got an A
wong xhi zing got an A
nurul atika got an A

which basically means, the WHOLE group got A.

expected? NO.
satisfied? tremendously.

2008-04-05T18:02:00.002+08:00

i've been tagged by ali and ili who's been taggged by fazzie and ali and here are the rules:

Link to the person that tagged you:

-post the rules on your blog

-post six random things about yourself

-tag six random people at the end fo your post by linking up to their blogs

-let each random person know you have tagged by leaving a comment on their website

-let each random know when your entry is up

now, SIX random things about me:

1. i suck at remembering someone's age, its a DISEASE!
2. i hate cockroaches and i will scream my ass off if i see any near me.
3. i ADORE guys who can play the piano
4. i can be very pessimistic and paranoid
5. i love bubbles. heh
6. i talk a lot

now, taggs:

1.fai
2. kak nad
3. faz
4. haj
5. fir
6. ili

2008-03-08T12:58:00.002+08:00

& so i didnt attend the mass suicide.
no one did eventually.
everyone passed.
i got a C for smth i usually get and E or S.
hajar got an A for smth she NVR pass before.
i swear everyone cried, not coz we didnt make it,
it was tears of joy.
it was all worth it.
thankes ALI, my math guru, w/o her i wud prolly still get an E.
ps. ali, its not just coz u taught me, but coz u sat next to me during the exam, and gave me effing pressure, that i had to do my paper confidently and as i look at ur face, i SWEAR i could remember the formulas.
was shivering when i got the result slip, couldnt believe my eyes.
for the whole WEEK i thought i was gg to fail.
even came up with alternative plans if i fail.
but hell no, did better than expected.
the effort the invigilators took to find my script on that day didnt go to waste.
hell, one step closer to uni.
plz make it happen.

me: *HUGGING ALI* thanks ali seriously thanks.
ali : no laaaah. *started crying*

kristen : ehh wah lao atika, u dont have tuition u can get higher than me.
me: no i have.
kristen: i though u dun have, tuition with who?
me: ALI.

I SWEAR I LOVE ALI.

me: mr thiang, erm thank you
mr thiang : ohh hey atika, u got a C ryte.
me: erm yahhh. *started crying*
mr thiang : why u crying? isnt it good? relax la.
me: yes, but remember why i was in ur class? i was one of the failures, i nvr pass before.
mr thiang : yess, congratulations u really did ur best
me: * best? hell i skipped lessons almost everytime *
mr thiang : ryteee?
me: oh yess.. of coz i did. THANKS MR THIANG

HELL I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER. BUT C IS MAJORLY OKAY.

i dont want to feel like how i did next year.
i swear im gg to work effing hard.
damn it.

2008-03-04T21:09:00.003+08:00

i think im gg to die on fri.
eventho i really dont want to just as yet.
i seriously want to go to aus.
and turn over a new leaf before i die.
but everything cant happen just before fri.
i love you mom and dad.
im sorry.

MASS SUICIDE

where: MI GRANDSTAND
time: 3:00pm
date: 7 march 08

2008-02-21T18:12:00.012+08:00

i came up with a love theory during geepee lecture. its superbly logical! i mean it only involes a pencil, an eraser and a paper. a little bit of drawing of course. it all makes sense. and when i was demonstrating it to everyone over at macdees, fir contributed some more to make it even more interesting! cheerios to the new theory! its a little bit difficult to demo it here so yeah. haha!

anyway! school has been getting hectic. homeworks and tests and assignments and the upcoming practices and concerts and performances. TIME MANAGEMENT IS ESSENTIAL. but thats just not me. im probably the worst person on earth to be able to manage my time well. a little bit over exaggerated, i know. oh anyway. im pretty sure theres going to be late night practices for angklung. that is gona be super challenging with TONS OF HOMEWORK and REVISION to do.

REVISIONS! ARGH. A LEVELS ARE KILLING ME. like 7 plus minus more months to go. damn it. management of biz is getting addictive. econs is still as boring as ever. and accounts is still manageable. i guess. i think i need to refrain from using the net. like seriously. i mean really.
oh well. i doubt i can stick to that.

rumors says the release of A level results are on the 29. that means im getting my malay and math results. i seriously dont have any confidence. and i cannot fail malay. shit. i mean, i know i can retake it and stuff, but i cant face cikgu rasiah anymore. its seriously gona be like a slap on my face. okay. lets see. months and weeks before the malay paper, i was getting probably notorious? okay la not that notorious. but i always skip malay class. like always. like everytime. go figure. and cikgu rasiah is prolly dissapointed. soooo. imagine me retaking my malay again. she'll prolly be laughing at me since i havent been attending her class. ohh crap. im screwed. i knoww, u guys might be thinking who the hell fails malay? hah. me? damn it!

oh well. so i guess i wont be attending you-know-who's concert and sylvia's party. then again, it might be going for sylvia's party but nah seriously not going for the concert. too seram. haha

oh yes. AKE is getting superbly famous. HAHAHA. no la. i mean we'll be much more recognized in a sense. we've been performing for the public and school and now, internationally. i know like how cool ryte. haha. we got through the auditions for the carnival and we're selected to perform!
schedule is going to be super tight. and every member of ake is going, even the year ones! like how lucky eh. oh right. we're going over to brisbane, australia to perform in one of their carnivals. cant wait for june. but that means nearer to a levels. but that also means nearer to holidays. but that also means results. oh wth.

performance over at SMU was awesome. the accoustics helped covered small mistakes. so yeah. ohh im still waiting for jumping pics from the kueh mueh. haha!

ake sweethearts over at SMU

(((:

then it was khidirs birthday on 14 feb. that lover boy. haha! CELEBRATED over at WCP. its so funny coz at that point of time, everyone was single. hahaha! oh ryte, hes twenty already.

birthday boy

loves

everyone

then it was celebration for fai's birthday. hopes she likes her keyboard (: anyway. went over to fai's in the morn with the sec sch peeps with fazzie. i tell u, the keyboard is super berat okay.
went out to town at ate B&J over at dempsey hill.

with birthday girl

dempsey hill

heira : ohh sorry wrong no. HAHA!

sec sch sweethearts

anyhow, much has happenned. all of us, are super addicted to HIMYM. like everytime we meet over at school we'll be talking about it. super addictive. oh! and everyone is probably BARNIFIED. hah! probably better than friends. go figure.
like whaaat upp. haha. everyone in school would just go...

- " u noe the part where....."
-" barney is damn irritating lahhh"
-" freeze frame high five!"
-" haaaaaaaave u met me?"
-" its gona be LEGEN-wait for it, wait for it- DARY!!!"
-"apple orchard banana cant dance 8663"
-" c'on suit up!"
-" we are international businessman on international business trip"
-" PRIVATE CONVERSATION!"

ohhhhh. seriously addictiveee. his pick up line is THE BEST!

NTU OUTING ROCKS. go figure. pics would be posted the next time i update which will be i dont know when.

till then.
xoxo

2007-12-26T14:42:00.000+08:00

happiness.

theres only that much happiness one can have. no one, i mean literally not even the one who has got everything he needs would have all the happiness in the world. it seems like a true luxury, really to have all the happiness for one's self.

an individual who might have the wealth in the world might be facing political problems, family issues. social issues haunting and creeping him out.

an individual who was presented the health by god might be facing debts. credit card debts , no company, no job. nothing.

an individual who might have a great support of family might be very poor, so poor that they cant feed themselves a proper meal. unlike us.

so which are you?

an individual who has everything but trust?

an individual who has everything but money?

an individual who has everything but time?

its really complicated, too much for an eighteen year old to handle. all this complications. all this facade. all this betrayals. and to think i havent even step into the real world.

and to you, im glad you know something is haunting me. something is creeping me out. something is just in me that is not really me. all this pretending. im tired. im tired of playing the games u have. im tired of figuring out.

its affecting everyone. not just the two of us. look around. we dampened their moods. where's our maturity at this point when we need it so much? everything seems so frail.

& no. silly. i walked away because i saw all the happiness u needed. everything that you need fell into the right places. nothing went wrong. u didnt miss anything out. i didnt really think u needed me.

lonely. hurt. abandoned. thats why i left.

i left with my heads up high thinking i could survive this one. just like the others. it went pretty well as u were able to let go. with your ego, it was better. it made me hate u more. ur facade, made me thought i was on the right path.

you were doing fantastic but me? to keep pretending was all i did.

i pretend everything was okay.
i pretend that i won the battle
i pretend that i could be independent
i pretend that all this tears, arent real
i pretend that the shield i have, might protect me.
i pretend that u were nothing.
i pretend.

but thats it. i couldnt lie to myself no more. you. you're the only one really knew me. you were my almost everything. you were that part of me who knew whats best for me. you are important. but yeah. u walked away. u moved on. all those footprints i had made, u washed it away. as much as u didnt want to. u did. with hatred and ego.

and to you i say thank you. i finally now know who i really am.

i am that individual who might have everything but you.

happy belated birthday.

2007-12-24T20:19:00.000+08:00

& happy birthday to me (: FINALLY! legal at last, yeay! thanks for ALL the lovely wishes. nothing beats cuddling up the bed with cousins to watch HEROES on a sunday afternoon.

presents this time around are WONDERFUL or prolly gona be wonderful.

afifa bought me a terribly cute bracelet.
fairuz gave me a touching sweet letter. oh and darling fairuz, i cried this time around when i read it.
mom bought me a carlo rino wallet which like cost 89 bucks. UTTER CUTE. (((((: very emo also. annnd.
more money. HAHA

more presents to come on 28 dec, and till then curiosity is still killing me.

ili is killing me with that hint she gave.

ili: you didnt say you want it, but we know you need it
me: oh crap. what if i dont want it at all
ili: u sure like it one lar.
me: but how'd u know i need it?
ili: dah go to ur house A LOT of times, so we know.

OOOH DAMN. i think i need a shelve but i dont want it. MY BOOK ARE ALL OVER. hahaha.

me: book shelve kaaan
firah: SHELVE?????
me: ya thats what i need but dont want it
firah: AHHH. ye la. correct. thats what u wana hear kan?

HAHAHA!

bought the presents for the remaining dec babies. havoc sakk. oh. HAFIRAH LIED. yeah. u're gg to hell firah! hahahaha.

bloody mat-ish hendra wants fred perry. BASKET make us go all the way there and........................................

I'LL UPDATE ABOUT IT AGAIN ON 28 DEC ((:

ANYWAY! 06B1's CHRISTMAS PARTY ON 26 DEC

yeah its on boxing day. cant wait. just one problem.
dresscode : PJs

AND. i dont sleep with PJs!!

there will be prizes for the most dressed, most hideous, most chepo, most bla bla bla.
too much. cant remember. haha

ANYWAY!

wanted to do something for her birthday.
something to remind her about the good ol' days.
but i guess i was too blinded by everything.
after the info that was, i dun noe, leaked out?
i stepped back into reality.
knowing there wasnt a place for me in her anymore.
those footprints i made, yeah prolly it was washed away.
nah. it needs something much more pwerful to have it fade away.
hatred. anger . yeah powerful enough to scrub away those prints.
was i even to blame for all the complications?
its the same feeling i had.
& you, maybe thats the reason why im in this state now.

and to the rest of u. its a very nice facade u guys had all this while.

2007-11-10T12:07:00.000+08:00

loads of things happenned and im pretty happy most are over ((: from H1 malay and math. pw presentation is OVER. HELL YEAH. and yesss much more things to look forward to.

no comments to my malay and math paper. i seriously hope i can pass it . oh well. and im SUPER GLAD malay is over! i was quite guilty when i was doing the paper. i swear. in my mind i keep thinking of mdm rasiah. like how i havent been attending her classes. yes, can u imagine? skipping malay when A's is like a few more weeks or rather days? oh well. math too. the last day of school, which means the last day of math revision, we skipped math too. god. like we got super notorious this year. like why werent we notorious when we were in year 1? its like a honeymoon year for us, yet we were super good, no skipping class, no detentions, no suspensions. RECORDS ARE FREAKING CLEAN.

BUT THIS YEAR???

okay lets see. early this year, me, fiz , fazzie, fifi, massha, farisha, eunice, sha, ju all skipped school for freaking three days to become facilitators for Edgefield Primary School P5 camp. can u imagine? without principals approval and sort. but wat do we care. had a superb great time. but VP was nice, she even complimented us. once we went to meet her after the camp. HAHA.

okay thats one. thats already bad enough. u know everytime u know ur school is super near to ur house u tend to get a little complacent about the timing. hell yeh. school starts at 9 on mondays and 8 on the other days. and alwayysssss, im late for school. and to think that the bus journey only takes 7 minutes? familiar faces of late comers, ALIFF TEE! and yes, he lives in my neighbourhood too. its like, we're always late by a minute or even a second! its shit i tell you. but yes, i turned over a new leaf after a while. hahaha. actually more to after detention. HAHA

okay, so i was late for more than thrice. and im down for detention. but me being super ignorant. i didnt know i was down for detention. like who the hell checks the freaking detention/suspension board. soooo they took it as if i skipped detention.

lydia: atika, ms lee was looking for u just now.
atika: oh really? err why?
lydia: she said u were down for detention but u didnt turn up.
atika: WAT THE FUCK?

atika: ms lee, erm i didnt know i was down for detention u know
ms lee: ohh means u dont have mc huh
atika : err no. i was in sch that day ( how honest was i eh? )
ms lee: ohh then i take it as if u skipped it okay.

after the march holidays, the first friday of the week. the daily speech by mr ivan lim.

mr ivan lim : this are the students down for suspension. bla bla bla. from 06b1, Nurul atika bte khairul anwar. bla bla bla. these students are to meet me after assembly outside the staff room.

i swear everyone looked at me in disbelief

everyone: atiiikkaaaaa????? wat happenned?
atika: OKAY! I DIDNT KNOW I WAS DOWN FOR DETENTION. URGH. LAME REASON? YEH I KNOW.
and i swear everyone just had to laugh at me. but yeeh, suspension was fun, gossiping with noorie and hidayah. was okaay i guess. at least better than to have to listen to ms ang's whining. urgh

okaay then. u should have seen how everyone hates malay. and i mean EVERYONE. be it those from cikgu aljuneid's class or cikgu ayub. both are super irritating. and i have lost count how many times shahiran picked up an arguement with cikgu aljuneid. hahaha. not to be mean tho, but he was irritating.

cikgu aljuneid: okaaay, hendra cepat curahkan idea
hendra : huh ? tak tahu ah cikgu.
cikgu aljuneid: takpe. cakaaap, cakaaap jee cakaap

HAHA.

then we have cikgu ayub, which i wasnt under his class tho. he took the much cleverer ones. HAHA.

theeeen. cikgu aljuneid couldnt take our crap and had to quit. and then comes cikgu ambri.
hes really nice, not irritating at all. not even annoying, just nice. BUT. slow. i mean hes old, wat do u expect. but hendra being hendra.

me: erm, saya tidak ada idea untuk karangan ini
cikgu ambri: bla bla ______* bla bla bla bla _____* bla bla bla _______*

okay u see those " _____*" in between those bla bla bla, u can hear hendra imitating birds chirping signaling hes sleepy. and he'll try to fall asleep. him doing that behind cikgu ambri, i swear, at times i just had to giggle. and once cikgu ambri is done, everyone will just burst out laughing.

i swear we should minta maaf to like everyone sey. ish. then we thought of going to cikgu aljuneid's house for raya.

me: ehhhh lets go cikgu aljuneid's house.
hendra: ya we must minta maaf
fazzie: a'ah. nanti gi rumah die. confirm he'll go like " ehhh makan je makaaan maaakann. jangan malu2. makaaan, makaaan je makaaan"

HAHAHAHA.

and thats only malay classes . as we got closer to our exams, we got even worse. many of us just couldnt be bothered to come at the usual time, but just come for pw. which means either skipping malay or math. last day of school, when we skipped math. we got superr lucky coz we were so dumb to even slack in the canteen. and then mr cheng just had to come down for lunch.
and we had to run secretly of course, all the way to the SAC in front of my gula2 mata. how unglam.

even the A LOT of time given for PW, we abused it, heh. yes, prolly only 30% does their project. but the others? FACEBOOK! u can hear ppl shouting across, swearing at each other and bla bla.

me: ehhhh sent already.
fazzie: u wana tell me wat u put? scissors or stone or paper?
me: paper ((((:
fazzie: bitch! how could u win!!!!

and to think me and hendra are in the same grp, we still chat to each other eventho we are just next to each other. crazinesssss.

then, there was the pac man mania. and hendra is the ultimate pac man-er . HAHA.

craziness, no?

this year, loads of things changed. too many to even mention and describe in details. too many complications too.

hm. changess. me changing from drama to angklung. my hairstyle changed. relationships with some changed, for the better and worse. got to know everyone much better, and it might be a good thing for some, but for others, hatred has grown.

ANIWAY.

the performance we had recently was a-okay (:

okaaaay. enough pictures for performance already (: PJR was a success too. eventho, there was a problem that occured just the day before, but yeh, manage to solve it (((:

2nd house, hendra's. we look ultra fresh dont we? and pardon mine and hajar's tuidung. heh.
fizaah ((:
fazzzie ((:
syafeeq says i look retard. oh well. HAHA

now is that cool or wat?

ili (:

does this not show how much in love they are?
over at ili's

benJ love. now tell, who looks more ching chong?

another group shot over at firah's

the guys ((:
the girls ((:

me, benJ, hendra (:

over at fareez's

anywaaay. its mom's birthday tday (((((: she LOVES her present we gave. phew. to think that , that wasnt even the initial idea.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!

2007-10-01T01:31:00.000+08:00

finally i can sleep in peace. like after knowing why he wouldnt be online and stuff. like atlast! yeaynessss. more late night chats of nothing. sounds retarded, but nah, i like it that way. the friendship we have, is totally different. its like we share so much but at the end of the day, know nothing about each other. its complicated, really. but i LOVE it wen he gets all so excited and anxious to tell me what hapenned. god the feeling is super priceless okay.

call me crazy but yeh ,

he can make me go from ): to (((((((((((((((((:

its like, hes always,ALWAYS on time. everytime i talk to my gfs about it, the next second, his name appears. GOD. stop it okaaay.

me: hes like online la, wah lao!and hes not talking to me. i fuckin miss him okay.
fazzie : alah. maybe he thinks ur busy thats y hes acting busy.
me: mati ah. wat nonsense, im always busy, and he noes that.
fazzie : u busy also bored.
me : okay. he talked to me ((((((((((:

god, he still makes me have those butterflies in my stomach. everytime im getting close to it, something surely has to spoil it. god. frustrating to the max. and and, he loves making me go speechless. like god. irritating eh.

and so apparently firah thinks im in love. wth. im not la bugger.

anywaay. i think this would be the last post till mid november. its like, i do not have time for myself even. there are too many things to do in such a small amt of time given. everything is suddenly happenning all at once. i hate it wen it becomes like this. first pw which is starting to irritate the hell out of me, then come math A'levels and ake performances which requires night practices. like stop it already.

i think pw is starting to get on the nerves of not only me but everyone else. and i dun noe if this is a good thing or not, but the fact that mr cheng pushed the deadline earlier for almost everything is starting to give me a headache, a real bad one. lets see, WR deadline is 16 oct. and that totally means 13 and 14 of oct is gone, no meet ups can be done, nothing can be done on this three days, okay maybe a little but still. its wasted just like that. why? coz of hari raya. and u expect me to skip raya for pw? yeh in a gazillion years.

next math A's which falls on nov 2. yeh like a few more weeks left. and everytime i come back frm sch, time would prolly be spent on the lappie doing WR. and after that im tooo tired to even practise math. this cannot be happenning. this shit is scary. god! so what if there is 15 periods of math a week, i still find it not enough, but seriously, theres no time. and im super tired, very tired.

angklung performances are SUPER TOO NEAR TO EXAM DATES! god MOE event somemore. dun know how to be considerate is it? wah lao. lets see. 1st moe event performance, nov 3. YES! november 3, a day after math paper. and theres rehearsal on nov 2, right after math and my oral presentation for PW is on the 6th. that means, november 3 and november 2 are wasted again! GOD. i cannot afford to waste time. okay, maybe i can live with that. but what made it worse is that i'll be having night practices almost every monday and fri. like WAT!!? night are meant to be spent on pw and math! and now what?

next, standard chartered marathon. the need to train is killing me! no time okay. i mean imagine after training, u'll be too tired to even do anything else.

everything is killing me slowly.
but i cant do anything can i?
hah.
WELCOME TO SINGAPORE'S EDUCATION (:
bitch.

and it doesnt help wen im falling sick. my voice is totally different. my throat hurts. my nose is like a running tap. having slight fever.
mom: " go home and rest, really. "
me: " WAT?? i cant afford to skip math. no! and PW, too many things to be done. no i'll stay in sch.i'll be fine"

okay. maybe i shall stop complaining, but wth, everyone else is.

anyway, after ake practise on fri, the malay girls except mai and nadiah went out to buka together. we are totally crazy okay. maybe coz we gone mad after wanting to know if we got promoted.

us: mr pow, DO NOT do this to us. are we promoted?
mr pow: im not doing anything.. hahahaha. i cant say anything.
us: cher, oh c'on we're like friends alr.
mr pow: HAHA. no we're not.
(any teacher who walks pass)
teacher: (in her mind prolly. heh. ) " hmmm. does these girls seem familiar" *smileees*
mr pow: hahaha! its nice to see u guys in this state.
us: mr pow! how could you! SERIOUSLY, are we?
mr pow: hahahaha. i dun noe.
(then the principal walked pass)
mr tan : haha. are this girls bullying you mr pow?
us : we just want to know. not bullying.
mr tan: im sure u do want to noe.
mr pow: oh come on, i'll walk u guys down.

THIS SUCKS.

im scared, i swear.

had a terrible nightmare.
i woke up today, terrified. frantically calling out your name.
and came to realise u're in china.
eventhough u're not alwaes here.
i still love you.

2007-09-21T20:53:00.000+08:00

its been demoralizing. have not gotten back our papers though, but the last two days were dedicated to H2 subjects. and so they were going through the answers and sort, and im SCREWED.

something random, have u ever wondered how many times u actually say a particular word? coz i dont realise it until someone points it out. it was during geepee, we had a presentation to do giving out points and explaining them to the class. and everytime i speak, i'd end with "so ya" or " errm ya? no? ..yaaa" i mean, u noe at times people just dont respond and yes i NEED response. if only it was malay i'll prolly go like " faham tak? "

aniway.

HAJAR'S BIRTHDAY WAS A BLAST!

omg omg! SHE CRIED! she was so overwhelmed. she got like a billion and one things from us. okay maybe a lil exaggerated. but yeh, we got her a nike sling bag, a spongebob plushie, LOADS OF CANDIES, anything purple we found along the streets. heh.

we planned a plushie-hunt in the school. she had to guess the place and meet one of the plushies. oh, its not that easy. she has to guess our plushie nick. HAHAHA. cuteness i tell you.

it was craziness. and me and faz who were located at the last station got ultra bored and started to camwhore while waiting.

happy birthday love ((:

messy is the new look

xoxo

anihow, thursday was hell. it was endless lectures. 4 periods oF econs and another 4 periods for management. i nearly died. but, i survived miraculously. HAHA. econs was completely boring. i was texting people while fizah and fazzie were playing UNO. u see, thats wat u get when teachers simply do not engage us in. haha. it was completely ridiculous, 70% of the students were sleeping. no one gave a damn bout the teacher, esp ms ang. heh.

centrestage was huge that it made it super easy to play and text ppl during lectures. the huge chairs made it easy to sneak stuff and do whatever we're not supposed to do. I LOIKE (: on friday, during accts something super freaky hapenned in the centrestage. while mr cheng was gg thru the paper, the lights on the stage just turned on. it was super freaky. like everyone actually immediately turned to see if there was anyone at the AVA room or watever u call it at the back. n there was NO ONE there. freaky. and it hapenned twice.

fazzie

i remembered last year, after promos. no one cared about studies anymore. the only thing we did in sch was to play poker or uno. like literally, every single period, even after sch and in between classes, during break. me, massha, fizah and fazzie used to play poker during econs secretly. and we never got caught. ohh memories in toh tuck. there was once, everyone, the whole class actually played uno together, all 30 of us. can u imagine how chaotic it was. it took ages till its our turn. god.

went to bowl on friday. with everyone else except rosmah, fahmi anf faz. BOWLING WAS SUPERB, until the guys kept uttering the word "sexy" to distract us. and wen we're distracted, the balls would obviously go to the gutters. bleargh.

and so it was my turn, i walked and was ready to just throw the ball, and the guys had to distract me with the word "sexy" like a BILLION times. i laughed and laughed and threw the ball BACKWARDS! HAHAHA. classic moment i tell you. and that was the first try.

2nd try, i was still laughing and stuff. i started to experience wobbly hands. suddenly the ball was super heavy. everyone was still laughing and uttering the word sexy. and. i couldnt throw the ball. i swear i cant. it was super heavy. HAHAHA. suddenly heavy wen i actually have been using the ball all the while? wth. and so i tried throwing AND, the ball just dropped, it SLIPPED AND FELL DOWN frm my fingers. HAHAHA.

double embarrasment!

and benjay, NO I DID NOT TRY TO DANCE OKAY. it was hajar's first ever bowling experience. and she catch up fast aye. i loikee (:

ALI, ILI, BENJ, KHIDIR and FIRAH ARE FREAKS!

KHIDIR IS THE ULTIMATE FREAK!

khidir was like a total pro. dun noe how many billion times he strike i tell you. FREAK FREAK FREAK.

FIRAH SUDDENLY BECAME AN ASS and tried shouting longkak to anyone's turn. and EVERYTIME, she says it, CONFIRM GO LONGKAK. it will go to the longkak lar. OMG. everyone started cursing her i tell you.

anihoww, all of us went on a detour and tried to explore the place. going through all the weird places. and i got bit TWICE wen no one else suffered frm it. BLURGH. the swimming pools are coolnesss. the scenery was nice laaar.

and there were two guys, swimming. okay not exactly swimming, just relaxing at the corner. just the two of them. they were superbly close i tell you. IM PRETTY SURE THEY ARE GAYS.
they were sooo close we're prolly the barrier for them to make out. heh.

people, monday ice skating okaaaay? yess? no? ((((((:

2007-09-17T21:05:00.001+08:00

exams are only officially ending on wednesday with accounts being the last paper. have the whole day to mug tmr. but for tday night, is gon be criminal mind's night. haha. i admit, i am totally addicted to it. thanks to tv links im like 5 weeks ahead of everyone else.it actually does make me feel good aye.

i cant wait till that particular day (:

i cant wait till the end of A's for H1. automatically nightmares of PW, math and malay would end. HAH. how wonderful would my world be. but then again, i would still have to attend diploma classes. two more modules till i graduate. but that is if i pass my IT unlike the last time. heh. maybe i shall not skip lectures like before. out of 10 lectures i came for 6. HAHA. out of 6 lectures i slept in ..errm.. all 6 lectures? HAHA but it cant be helped! IT bores me. IT bores everyone in class. ahhh. i shall not fail IT like how i did the last time. MY GOD. i got my results and it states :

Fundamental of Information Technology - 43 marks F

OHH C'ON! how could they be so harsh towards me? thats my first F okay! boooo ): how the heck did i get 43? lets see. didnt study was the main bulk of it. OH. it was a 3 hour paper, i remember, from 9.30 to 12.30. BUT. i left the examination hall at 10.30. an hour and i got 43, not bad aye? HAHA. i shall stop convincing myself. but the bottom line is IT hates me ): now i have to re-sit for the whole module? oh bugger. another misery yet to be conquered ):

I CANT WAIT FOR PRINCIPLES OF MARKETING!

& that will only start on 3rd dec to 14th. at last, something quite familiar. heh.

i miss my sunshine.

its been days, no weeks since i've last met him. okay actually just two weeks. oh gosh. how i miss him spouting nonsense. and how he is soooo silly. its so amazing how kids think. no really, oh bugger. aiman is like the cutest kid on earth. boo. dont grow up so quickly okay? and so hendra thinks im a freak. but i mean, kids are like the cutest wen they are 2-6 no? hahaha. okayy fineee. im weird.

aiman: kak nurul, that day national day hujan tak at ur place?
me: huh? no. why?
aiman: die hujan tau kat woodlands.
me: oh really. when was it raining?
aiman: when the soldiers shoot at the sky ah. they shoot the clouds, kan sakit. abeh the clouds cry ah. thats why hujan. (exact words mate)

SPEECHLESS!

me: aiman, just sit at the computer table at wait for me.
aiman: kak, sape tu? ( pointing at afifa's wallpaper)
me: a singer, hilary duff.
aiman: tak cantik eh die.

mati ah cam gini. how can his standards be that high. phew. choosy to the max. hes that cute okay. god. and hes such an angel when hes asleep but so noisy when awake. hahaha.

sunshine love

TALKING ABOUT KIDS! i tell you, firah has gone totally crazy. she is MAD. all of us went out to get some stuff around town, and wen we were arrived at forum, she wen like in a trance. hahaha. EVERYTIME she passes by a shop which sells clothes for kids, she'll go like , " bilee la aku nak beli kan baju2 gini utuk anak aku eh" . HAHA. seriously. OMG. and shes only like 19? CRAZINESS I TELL YOU.

everyones freaky for having the "i-want-to settledown" mindset and "im-gg-to-name-my-kid"

oh, hendra, aliff, ili, firah. im referring to u guys. HAHAHA ((:

bubbles are love

i saw that huge bubble wand at TOYS'R'US!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAYNESSS! its sooo huge. i liiiikeeee ((((((((: its quite huge eh , bigger than i expected. but smaller than the DIYs. i am soo going to get that wen im free. and prolly play with aiman and akmal first. then the GILERS at west coast park. I CANT WAIT! ili, do u still want to DIY? hahaha.

there are too many things to be done in such a little time. laser quest, bubble making, science centre trip, paint ball with the cousins, watch a movie after promos, ICE SKATING. im sure we'll find time, heh (((:

& after so long..

2007-09-15T20:04:00.002+08:00

& so i havent been updating. & its not the end of promos yet, but it almost feels just like it. am so not looking foward to endless project works and intensive math and malay. can you imagine from 9 am to 4.45 pm, all i'd do is math, malay and pw. pw is bad enough, math is fun with mr thiang, but malay? tell me who can survive intensive malay? totally bizzare.

on a lighter note, LOADS of things happened.

but most recently, we went over to benJ's to apparently study, practically everyone was there. his house is the BEST condo i've seen. i swear. the atmosphere and the breeze just made it sooo difficult to study that we camwhored more than we studied. thanks benJ for the donuts and bubbles, loves (: oh and benJ, thanks for saving my notes frm the pool. heh. BUBBLES are LOVE. i want to make huge ones! ili, after promos okay?

me, faz, fai

not everyone

firah me ili

then the next day, went prata-ing with aliff . oh and heira tagged along. it was practically like a reunion, both of us were like saying how and what we missed in toh tuck and sort. and aliff, i didnt noe u were thaaat artistic. went over aliff's to slack and camwhored like again. his hamsters are terribly cute, i swear. but i ought to be given trainings on how to handle them. i suck in handling hamsters! it was like so ticklish and everything else i couldnt have imagined. hahaha. ohh. so yehh. im starting to have a plan on how to steal aliff's ibook. heh. oh and on a random note, aliff's a freaking drooler. his quilt cover, pillow cases, bolster cover has his drools, and all dried. and to think i hugged his pillows. bleargh. we took 68 pics in total! craziness.

expressions, priceless

aliff, heira, me

ching chongness heira

heira me

2007-03-16T17:07:00.000+08:00

oh so here i am updating...

hello (:

thankiew for just wasting 1 min of ur time.

loves;
atika

2007-01-15T10:58:00.001+08:00

But this time, I mean it

I'll let you know just how much you mean to me

As snow falls on desert sky

Until the end of everything

I'm trying, I'm trying

To let you know how much you mean

As days fade, and nights grow

And we go cold

As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms

Forever, forever

Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning

Forever, and ever

Know how much I want to show you you're the only one

Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun

i'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets___**

2007-01-14T11:18:00.000+08:00

so much for having a blog without updates yeh. lol. so i thought during the holidays i was busy with work and slacking. so much for crapping ard till no time to update. wen school term starts, i had a blast of shock i tell u. endless homeworks haunting me, projects, drama and now debate. eventually i made a record, i nvr start studying/doing hw/revising on the FIRST DAY of school untill 2007. there were erm, correction. lol. there are loads of assignments that suddenly i became hardworking completing any assignments poosible in a night.

omg. and this is still the start of january. can u believe it? and im already that busy and having time constrains? so pardon me if i havent been updating. yes, thanx to the rain, i fell sick. thanx to ashraf, my whole family has sore eyes. the funny part is, wen the nurse gave me medicine and she mentioned " this may cause drowsiness" immediately i grinned. OMG. u could not believe how enlighten i was. so yeay. i could sleep once i've taken my medication. since term starts, the only time i slept was at 2-3 and i have to wake up early in the morn despite, school starts late. being in school attending classes till 6 is already tiring enough, can u imagine the assignments i need to complete after school before i escape to neverlands. and on top of that, my wonderful PE lessons. which just drains my energy completely.

oh. talking bout PE. my left ankle, which has an old injury (i tore my ligament) just gave way while i was doing standing broad jump. ho ho. i was pretty lucky it wasnt that bad. ah. those who fail napha pre-test have to go for lunch time training. and that includes me. sucker. no lunch for me. hip hip hoorayy!!

new term. new bag. new file. new teacher (which i love). new school. new track. new field. new hall. new audi. new crush ((: new hairstyle

yes yes. new crush. i am soo loving it.

oh new hairstyle. lol yes.

i love the new teachers (: they dun allow anyone of us to slack anymore!! yeaay!

2006-12-08T20:55:00.000+08:00

you never said too much, but u shone me hope.

thats a beautiful mistake you made

i miss you terribly

nurulatika

2006-11-29T21:57:00.000+08:00

had a blast at esplanade with fazzie and fifi wen we went to support our dearest AKE friends (:
u guys shud have seen our darling hendra danced. bwahaha. hilarious i tell u! firah was ABSOLUTELY brilliant. she is SO in love with anklung and kulintang. for once, i am so PROUD of millennia. haha.

went to laupasat after that. it was freaky how the vendors would follow u and persuade u to buy food from them. it was quite silly to think about it. yes, n me and fazzie still cant figure out why most of those vendors spoke english to us. like, except for the satay guy, the rest served us like we weren't from singapore.

wen me and fifi was asking the conceirge if we cud find any money changer. yes i noe im searching for a money changer, but a singaporean cud change money too ryte? he was blabbering about how to get to marina square and then to the esplanade and all. haha. yes officer, we're singaporeans.

same happenned wen me, fazzie and fifi changed money somewer in marina square. apparently fifi had to change a couple of american notes and the money changer guy was looking at the three of us like we were some suspects in the recent crime. gosh

uncle: haha. u look so worried ah.
me: err. ya, of coz, since u were looking at us that way
uncle: ohh. i just want to disturb u girls larr.

thanx unclee thanx for the suspense. appreciated it A LOT!

anihow, back to the laupasat thingy. omg. we freaked out wen we realized we were being followed by the vendors can? they were like persuading us to buy food from their stall and all and for the first time i felt as if i was in JB. haha. anihow. the food there was yummylicious can? anihow. theres this one mat who served us hilariously can?
seriously, that typical mat actualli was effing cute okaay. not cute as in handsome but character wise. get my drift?

so apparently he was serving us the rice and chicken
him: oh, another one pair of fork and spoon ryte? give me a minute ok.
us: oh yeh, sure
him: (sneakin out from fifi's back) jeng jeng. u're fork and spoon
fifi: eeerrr??
us: HAHAHHA

omg. which mat ever says *jeng jeng* hahah. and he did that again for the 2nd time wen he served us the butter prawns okay. omg. he actualli said " have a nice meal". haha. hilarious! but cute. (:

loveess (:

fudgy wudgy

fudgy wudgy and fifi ((:

let all the stupid faces unite! ok bye *dissapear*

yeaap. i love her (:

((:

u had alwaes been my Mr. sunshine
but u blew it
i had alwaes loveed u,
but u never notice.
u alwaes brought a smile on my face,
but for now,
can u please explain these tears running down my cheeks?

2006-11-22T14:59:00.000+08:00

FFFFFFAAAZZZZZZIIIIIKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!

2006-11-16T18:00:00.000+08:00

blogger is an ass. havent u realize??

anihow. im promoted for madrasah!!! yeeaay.

gez wat. i aced my arab!!

((:

2006-11-05T17:01:00.002+08:00

sometimes for some reason or another, things that are meant to be told, will never be told.
sometimes actions that werent supposed to happen, happens.
its all messed up in here.
theres never a correct or perfect way we can follow.
somewhere, somehow, we'll just crumble to the ground.
life was never made easy, and never will it be easy in any ways.

thinking back, i've never did anything useful for myself but to waste my precious time overly obsessed with a guy for three years. yes, call me a nincompoop, but all those laughters, tears, ooglings were all worth it, it made me smile, thinking bout it. i smiled for the fact that it happenned.

yes it may have hurt me in a thousand ways, a billion of times, but nothing else cud bring me that great happiness in my life when everything was just going on so smoothly. it was as if i was in the air on my own. trust me, no one cud bring me down. it was because of him i was motivated to go to school. it was because of him i proved myself that i was worth much more. it was because of him, i became stronger. and because of these, i thank him.

its been years since we've last talked, but those feelings never fade. those memories nvr fail to make me smile. he alwaes appears in the other side of my dreams where the grass is greener, where everything just seems so right. u've alwaes been my wonderwall, until these scars remind me that i've been hurt.

i miss you.

apparently, this song just suits me best.

jaded by mest

There's a time and place for everything

There's a reason why certain people meet.

There's a destination for everyone

Whats the explaination when we're done...

All the summer nights, spent wondering,

So many questions asked, but no one's answering

Would it be ok if I left today?

Took my chances on what you said was wrong.

I'm jaded, stupid and reckless

Not sorry, when I'll never regret,

These years spent so faded and reckless

Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years

I'll never regret these years

Now here I sit, so far away

Remembering all the memories

It's times like these that I miss you most

Remembering when we were so close

I'm jaded, stupid and reckless

Not sorry, and I'll never regret,

These years spent so faded and reckless

Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years

I'll never forget the places we've been, you and I

Our lives, are slipping away,

dont want to let time pass us by, bye...

Im jaded, stupid and reckless

Not sorry, and I'll never regret,

These years spent so faded and reckless

Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years

I'm jaded stupid and reckless

not sorry and ill never regret

These years..

tag time:

orangedoll : - wth. syed's hair effing nice la siakk. oh yess apparently hes better than whoever.

-HAHA. u tell him? how to tell? kau dah lama sakk tk keje. wa wa wa.(dah terikut syaffiq)

-zoo is an effing nice place only if u're not a staff there ((: oookay, lets quit. hee

-SYED WUD MISS U? big fuCk ah. haha. syed and fariz wud miss my loving sia, oh not only syed and fariz k. HAHA. lalalalala

-3 face biatch?? triangular shaped faces? wow. cool. haha. but i still love that job, noeing its the best slacking job u can ever find in the zoo. ((:

-yes. i miss u too ((:

shahril : ((=

fazzie : walalala?

fifi : omg!! i'll miss u k. haha. u're prolly in cambodia alr. tc dudette.

hady : updated.

2006-10-22T01:51:00.000+08:00

im practically drained, energy wise. werk has been hectic- not. haha. its fun though certain people were trying to be an ass. ok no. they alr are.

its really nice to know that rohan fasts. i mean. zoo is prolly the haven of eating-is-okay-while-ramadhan for those asses. i mean. they literally just collect their food there and then in front of those who fast. hello, ever heard of the werd, respect? shiat, zoo is a corrupted place. hell it is. do i get sued for this? haha.

im not saying that none is fasting in the zoo. rohan and syed does (: thats like effing good news k. ouh, including me and some other GR. but yehh. like the other keepers are just munching away as if ramadhan never existed. like wtf. oh well. i mean go to some closed area lah. like me (: haha. fazzie,fizah and harfia noes. ouh girls, that dae was effing sinful.

ouh ouh. shiat. im like an effing happy girl todae cann??
1. talked to syed (yes i noe fatin, u smoked wit him. *rolls eye*)
2. heard juz-b sang
3. chatted with him!! omg (:
4. cam-whored with vivian
5. got to noe that fairuz n mountain loves me ((:
6. dad didnt scold me for getting Ds n Es. haha
7. shoppeeedd. haha. mom calls dad the Walking ATM. haha
theres another reason but i feel that its inconsequential. (:

haha. yes!! i talked to syed!! omg. that effing hot GR. haiiz. he had a new hari raya hair-do. effing nice la. similar to Mr. Y but dyed and highlighted. ((: fatin, hes hot k, even wen hes upclose. like seriously. haha.

syed: (laughing) dah tk tau tu jgn la punch out kan org lain.
me: suke ketawekan org? dah ah kak, buat ah sendiri. (i was like blushing la)
then it was his turn, n he tried like thrice? n still aint sucessful
me: itu la. ketawekan org lagi.
syed: eh. bende tu dah rosak ah. dah ah. kene complain ah nie.
me: tsk tsk. alasan seyy.

he smiled all the way. awww ((:

that embarassement was effing worth it ((:

fazzie, both Mr H and Mr Y are hot iz it? haha. true true. omg i chatted with him after like weeks. his crapiness came back. ((:

do u noe wat happens when fazzie and harfia meets my ever-so-comfy bed?

yes. thats wat heppenned. messy hair. pillow fights. pulling trousers down. heh (:

oh. cam-whored with vivian for the first tyme.

i miss cam-whoring with fatin. aww. i miss her too blardy much!!

i miss ur lovin baby.

lalalala. yes. im crazily crazy. oh apparently someone thinks im the ass. stop denying that u're the ass lah. u noe hu u are. tsk. dun deny it, coz thats the fact ((: n yes, i do household chores.

there were sooo many plans before ramadhan. even after promos, i nvr got to achieve it. tsk tsk. sad noe.

shiat. its 2.43 am. n im having madrasah exam tmr. i have not even hafal any thing. i am screwed.

2006-10-19T22:16:00.000+08:00

lifes been contradicting. its funny how your gult feeling can actually give u a wrong perception. i wasnt shock to see myself failing malay. but i had that feeling that malay was gona be the only subj that im passing. coz i was definately sure i screwed up every other paper i sat for. but thankfully, i did pass econs and the rest. i mean. improvement is the word of the day. still, not enough to secure me a pass for the overall grade for econs and mgt. okay. weird but true, i failed the easiest paper? ok, reality check, my malay suck.

and so i thought my parents were gona kill me if they find out that i failed malay. but hey. they passed out a laugh. thanx dad. that so helped me. thank god, they understood why i wud fail my management and econs for the overall grade.

i dun see a reason for reataining another one more year adding up to that lengthy 3 years. i mean. its not as if, im gona do any much better the next tyme round, eventho i ought to do so. but, i dun see a point. if im supoz to retain, dad, foundation studies can??

saw my brother's reults just now. i was so demoralized. i mean, hes only in sec 2 and hes that smart?? dude, pass me those brain cells!! i need ur brain fluids. gosh. from a f9 for malay to an a2?? smart ass. i think he stole my brain fluids for malay!! and how the heck does he ace the other subjects?? hmm. let me see, by playing counter strike 24/7?

whatever it is,tomorrow is d-day.

2006-10-11T18:27:00.000+08:00

thanx ah fifi. it was u seyy. u irritating girl. HAHA.

and fazzie. u sure im an arse? tsk tsk.

i hate blogger.

i hate blogging now.

2006-10-11T18:23:00.000+08:00

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Atika's an ARSE LA

bloody konyek busukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

HAHAHA

-fazzie-

2006-10-11T15:06:00.000+08:00

stupid blogger. i was typing a chunk of shit just now and then KABOOM! it gone just like that.
Like WTH! cheat my feelings only. I slap you then you know. sukeee typee typeee abih hilang gitu?! SUke?! GGRRR!!!!

Aneway, my name is Nurul Atika B. Khairul Anwar. I am a gerl. I live near a staircase with light.
Fantastic right? Cuz it is not easy to find staircase with light. Verry the rare can. Aneway, the
staircase with light is located at Singapore. You know where Spore is? Go take the world map and find a dot. You know a dot? Like this : .

Cant find your problem lahhh. You blind wat,wat you wnt me to do?

I'm bored lahhh. I don't like Cheng lahh. He gay lahhh. My bedroom soo tuffy mann even with the air corn on. bloddy hell, screw the manufacturer. I hope you die a slow and painful death with your to testicles missing lahh. grr. make me so stuffy at night only. sukkeee?! sukke buat orang'tidur tak selesa. SUKKEEE!?

brb, cuz fazzie loves me.

2006-09-06T16:59:00.000+08:00

oh yes. thanx fudgy for updatin nth for me. heh =]

tag time!!! :

cheryl : eyy darl. thanx mate =] i will try to lift my spirits.
fudgy: do u find great satisfaction after updating for me? heh.
hendra: fudgy dah update kan!! halamak u baboon
heira: u seriously making me extra obese lor. hahaha. eyy. tk ya la bilang org lain. halamak. but ya. HE IS HOT!! i will nvr get tired will i? heh. PE is damn penting la now afta meeting u.

oh yes

hady mirza = hot.
syaaban = hot. im dead if happens to be reading this. HAHA. but wait. u typed it clearly alr in my taggie. so yeh. here it goes syaaban=hot

aniwae. shalalala. im gg off to malaysia n i have not finish my essay. coolness.

i miss fatin =]
oh yes fatin, thanx for replacing me this sat. have fun wit marzuki. heh. n im not being sarcastic. =))

fairuz,
darling. its not the end of the world w/o him u noe. pull urself together. hes prolly ur torchlight that was shining ur life. but trust me, u'll find ur mr. sun soon. so dun worry =)

syilah..syilah.. happy birthadae baybeh. ok i noe it was yest. but yea. just wana wish u again. my only prunk rock/metal wateva-u-like fren!! yeaay!!

thanx for agreeing that syaaban is hot- not. hmph!. i luv u biatch. i hate u for making me eat A LOT! eurasian baby coming along!!!! yeaaay!!!!!

me..fatin and syilah

our class has stairs!!!

thats wer we use to change after PE. heh =]

cant blame me. i was high

my mural painting =]

everyone =))

everyone =]

jailed?

4e4 '05

craziness =]

more pixes to come. yeaay. KL here i come. hendra, forget bout ur shirts. haha. fazzie, forget bout ur condoms. wahaha

2006-09-05T23:19:00.000+08:00

So Fazzie's here to update for the oh so lazy Miss Nurul Atika..
So what's happening in the denial world of Miss Denial..? Well god knows..
the only thing I know is that WE OUGHT TO BE STUDYING FOR F*CK SAKE =))
Not go out with the intention of doing Econs Assignment and ended up talking and only did like 3 goddamn questions ish..

Moving along.. What else can I blog for her..? Hmmm..
Now I know why she's too lazy to update =))
Till next time..

2006-09-01T16:36:00.000+08:00

i dun wish to be there. for real. i dun wish to be wit them. i dun wish to be alone. i dun wish to be invisible. as i ponder about it,i come to realize that i dont really know wat i want in life. its all blurry for me, too complicated. its impossible for me to live life to its fullest w/o them. but, most of the time, i wish to be alone. i dont wana speak. everything is deep under, its not transparent like how its used to be anymore. it cant be explained. dun bother to even try to understand.

2006-08-25T20:44:00.000+08:00

i still cant believe that i told them. n i knew she would kill me, with all the truths that i refuse to accept. wat can i say, i live in DENIAL. its not that i dont want to wake up and smell reality. its just that, im scared, scared to face the truth. TRUTH HURTS. and besides, im traumatized by all that have happenned. living in denaial gives me a sense of satisfaction. its gives me a choice to how i want it to turn out. forget it. im too late. n hes an arse for leaving too early. im missing you. cant u tell?

anihow. nothing intersting has happened except fiz and fazzie bullying me. blardy shitters. they were asses can. so hendra n myself were quickly trying to finish up our accounts assignment while fiz, fazzie and massha are already packing. ok fine. i was the one who said that im hungry and cudnt be bothered for acc. hah. but they could wait!! since hendra found the ans and all. but no. they were singing songs asking me to get out of the class. calling my name. scolding me. laughing at me for being extra hyper and yehh. becoz of them i...
1. "broke" kristen eraser not the normal ones. but yeh.
2. dropped kristen's pencil case
3. tried using kristen stapler over n over again and apparently at last he told me it was spoiled.
4. was being very clumsy.
5. searched frantically for my paper which fell off the chair.
6. ran ard class to find a use-able stapler.
7. was laughed at by hendra.
8. got hendra "scolded" me for being over excited
9. went out of class w/o my econs file
10. embarassed myself infront of hendra,kristen n rahman n practically everyone.
ok. that was already bad enough u noe. but they just had to add a lil spice in it. while in the canteen,i just had to blame them for making me feel embarassed. n they freakily misunderstood it. thanks guys. they were saying that i fancy rahman. n they had to tell fahmi. n fahmi had to tell hendra. n both of them had to tell khidir. and the three of them had to tell rahman. baskets. but yeh. hes cool bout it, hopefully. one priceless thing was the conversation wit fahmi. ok so. my back was facing him.
fahmi: atika, dah buat econs essay
fizah: alah lah. merajuk pulak.
fahmi: atikkaaa... dah buat belum?
{everyone laughed}
fahmi: atikaaa.. dah buat econs tak?
atika: diam ah bising ah
fahmi: aku tau kau tk suke die la. jgn marah la.
HAHAHAHA. nonsensical crap
i hate them for doin that. hmph.
n no. i dont fancy rahman.

got a cert for participatin in jcdc. (:

i hate that mangkuk. bias bitch.

i still havent complete my irp stuff. lol

2006-08-20T13:28:00.000+08:00

was all this meant to be a joke?

confessing your heart out..

making me feel like i'm the only one

making feel like i'm on top of the world.

you made it feel so real

you made me feel so speacial

i dont noe how long more i can keep this from u.

i admit..

i somehow did wanted it to happen.

i saw hope in it.

i wanted to tell u so badly

i wanted u to know

but..

i thought u could tell

i thought it was obvious

i thought u could see it thru me..

but u didnt, u never did.

im sorry i didnt make it clear

im sorry i didnt tell u

you cant blame me can u?

i was scared.

i had my doubts too.

even they dont know.

how could i tell u wen i cudnt tell any of them.

who knew im good in keeping my feelings deep down

who knew i loved u

who knew i regretted..

wit much love,

atika

ps: if u're reading this, im sorry.

2006-08-18T02:28:00.000+08:00

its all misty in here.

its hard for me to find my way thru.

its not that i havent been trying,

its just that, i keep tripping on all these insecurities.

these scars are here to remind me that i tried,

tried to run away from all the insecurities.

its complicated in here,

but i never give up.

i was determined i would survive.

but then one day,

i finally realize

that there was never an escape door.

all this while i was surrounded,

surrounded by insecurities.

i cant run away..

im stranded,

stranded in my own world of insecurities.

tag time:

shahril :- entah eh. name die noor hendra shahril. eh. he got same name as u lah (: mane ade nonsense? die baik la. he gave mc!!
fazzie :- RAHHHHH??
syaf :- lalalala. of coz u care u basket. u just said im somehow the bestfren u wanted. contradicting bustard (: YEAHHH!!! shes out!!! i just love to irritate u =))
fairuz :- cool wat the fonts like this. lol. dun nonsense la u.
massha :- is just u lah. aww. luv ya too (: and darling, u cant choose ur mom! haha. god gave u her as ur mom alr. ACCEPT IT!
fazzie :- nak tag pun kene bilang. NONSENSE!

2006-08-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

long term medical certs anyone??

come get it at Family Medical Clinic!!

heh. a streak of craziness just striked hendra :)

who would have ever thought that hendra could be a doctor?

who would have ever thought that hendra would open up his own clinic?

who would have ever thought that hendra would issue MCs for free?

who would have ever thought that hendra's MCs would be a piece of tissue paper??

who would have ever thought that those MCs would be manually written and not printed???

he is officially crazy.

not that he was never crazy before,but he was extra crazy.

everyone who failed 2.4 was dreading PE session for today. i mean, it was so hot, who the heck could be arsed to even run. but we didnt have a choice, did we? the only escape from 2.4 run would be an MC. the only escape from MI PE sessions would be a long term MC. sooo...

me: hendra, i wannt a MC. i dont want to run!!

hendra: okay okay. later i give u.

so i thought everything just ended there and then. i mean, i was joking obviously, how the heck can i even get a MC at the last minutes. but like wat fizah alwaes say, in millennia, everything is possible.

hendra: nah, this is for u.

me: what the heck? u give me tissue paper for wat?

omg. i cudnt believe my eyes. for a split second i thought i was in lala land. like who could have ever imagined????

the little MC that was issued by hendra

a close up of it

oh well. who could have thought.. hendra is much more capable. lol. and yeayy. im exempted from PE forever!!!

aniwae. have i mentioned that i love my darlings?? yes.

i love u, fizah!

for real, darling, u've alwaes been there for me and all. its pretty amazing how u can actually survive with all my nonsensical shit. u've been there for me countless of tymes. giving me advises that im supoz to heed. but yea, knowing a girl like me.. heh. aniwae. im really thankful that u're here wit me. well, i gez what i really wanted, remember from that poem, has been given. gez, u're just a gift from god for me. luv ya (:

i love u,syafiq!

love u in a way or another. u've alwaes been there for me. u noe me by the back of ur palms, to think that u can read my mind. its creepy actualli. am still wondering how u do that. u've helped me in a billion ways. dun noe how can i ever thank u. the countless support and motivation from u, made me wer i am now. thanx dude. u've been a great bestie. luv ya =)

i love u, fazzie!

u've alwaes been the one cheering me up wenever im down. endlessly heard all my nonsensical problems. has alwaes been a sweetheart. a bitching partner and u've been a great clumsy fren. aniwae. yeh. i've regretted loads of stuff, but i'll never regret noeing u. muackz (: luving ya alwaes

i love u, rosmah!

u are just my sunshine! never seen a frown from u before, n i dun intend to see it at all. i love u babes. u just brighten my spirit to go to school everydae. thanx for the encouragement. sorry i let u down. i really miss the oh-so-crappy days wit u after skewl. n damn, u've got a great voice! i love u babe.

i love u, massha!!

u've alwaes been my random darling. lol. u can be soo naive at tymes. and thats really cute tho. haha. yeh, got to noe ya much better since u sat beside us and thats really great. coz we got to realize that u're damn crappy and u're ********. wateva the case is, i love u baybeh!!!

i love u, firah!

i dun noe if u read this afterall. but yeh. here i am saying that i love u. u noe wat i admire most bout u, ur sweet character. u can never get mad. n u're one hyper girl no one shud ever miss knowin. its just that, u're so sweet and loving. dudette, i love u mate!

i love u, hendra!

dude, u're the only guy that knows everything. to think that i trust u and all (: u are just my doctor!!! lol. crappy bustard who makes everyones life in MI much much much more interesting. its been great mate. i love ya.

i love u alyssa!

dun noe if u're gona read this.. but hey, u've been a great pal. for all this while that i have known u. only in 2006 i really get to noe u. weird really but its better than nothing. thanx for all the encouragement. thanx for all the math guidance. =) luv ya!

2006-08-09T15:01:00.000+08:00

haha. i just realize that hes name is syed and not said. hilarious. fiz, if u're reading this, ahem, ah ya, hes name is syed. HAHA. so apparently fatin got to talk to him first. *rolls eye* (: let me say this again k. HE IS DARN CUTE. haha. i mean ok fine that GR is a lil short, but hey short= cute. heh. and that smile makes me melt. for real. i loike his hair SOO much. (: ok fine, im going nuts. no matter wat u say fatin, u noe bout how he aint tat cute wen u look at him closer or wateva shit, i still find him gorgeous. (: peeps who just have a fettish for spiky hair and a charming smile wud just fall in love wit him. aww.

supposingly, im not supoz to even blog down bout zoo. but then fatin insisted so yeah. first day at work was just priceless. yeayy. haha. the first day of werk could not be any better. i mean imagine him smiling at me. (: siti labeled me the miang girl wenever hes around. haha. nonsense. aniway. everyone was surprised seeing me at work and all. i mean im supoz to be at home slackin or wateva, but yeh, im in the zoo earning money. oh. and i realize that fatin is SO much more observant than me. she notice each and every changes. like wth? ok the obvious changes of coz i wud realize, but the super tiny weeny changes which aint important also she realize. anihow, had realli loads of comment for my comeback. so yehh.

sue-ann: atika!!! sayang, not schooling eh?
naz: eh. u??. wat u doin here?
baya: eh long tyme never see ah.
taufik GR: u werking alr? so long never see u already sia.
anan: not schooling alr ah?
rohan: u masih ingat lagi tak bende2 zoo nie?
pak cik tram: eh. dah lama tak jumpe.
apek: aiyo. senyum tunjuk gigi lah.
omg. i cant believe he shouted across. everyone was like looking at me and all. and he was on a the elephant for goodness sake!!

rafiq wasnt working. didnt get to meet yan and all. but wateva. anan was an ass. he keeps throwing the memory card and all. and everytyme i dun catch it he'll give me the irritating face and say i have butter fingers. taufik was a comple basket. he scare us, k no, he scare me wit that spider. n lalalala.

aniwae. i cant believe we, the syf girls had to march for the national day parade in school. ok i have to admit that the parade was pathetic. but ya. but it was a-ok. i mean yehh. we made minimal mistakes. i went off a lil at the ending. heh. (: aniwae. shahiran is prolly like proud aye. k atleast i hope he is. so yeh. for the practise, the syf girls were under leong and this other guy. and we were all begging for shahiran to come back. hahaha. nonsense la but ya. prolly coz we are more used to him and all altho he can get really really mad and thats darn scary. but yeh. oh did i ever mention that fazzie, ok maybe all of us, likes the way shahiran says the "left right left" thingy.weird but true. but at the end of it, everything was ok. no, i mean great. (:

u noe wats the weirdest thing that can ever happen. the 2 least patriotic girls celebrating national day by singing the national day songs proudly. for real. its freaky i tell u. i mean ok, maybe we wud just love to get out from this country. but that doesnt mean we dun have a soft spot for sg in our hearts. but yeh. i mean this is the place wer we have fond memories ryte. and it is ok to celebrate national day wit our beloved frenz ryte. i mean, sometimes, u do things, for the mere fun of it. wen u sing along, yeh maybe some realli mean wat they sing, but for others, its prolly just the joy of singing it with our frenz. having the spirit and all. and prolly for just having fun.

and syafiq, u alwaes make it seem so wrong for migrating. but look at it, i can still love sg wen i migrate. its not as if, once i migrate, all the memories, the bitter and sweet ones wud just automatically be erased. yeh. u keep repeating that we have to contribute to the country as a retreat to wat the society has given us. but as long as i am a singaporean, i still contribute the country's GDP or the GNP, either one. and u dun call that contributing? and u noe wats the best thing, wen u're at some other country, and wen u put up a certain behavior and wen u achieve something,and wen u're unique, ppl wud look up upon us. n they wont even think we're some typical asians. wats better if the sg did something amazing, wudnt everyone be proud. and syaf, wen we migrate, we mite not be singing the national anthem or even saying out the pledge, and prolly thats wer u think we will forget all that the country has done and all. let me remind u, poly students, workers, uni students dont even sing the national anthem everyday, they dont even say out the pledge. give our frenz in poly another few years, they prolly wudnt even care about it. n u noe wat, the sad part is that they only tyme they sing it is wen national day comes, n thats equivalent to those who migrated. coz they only sing it wen national day comes. if migrating is so wrong, why dont u blame our fore fathers for migrating? u mite say that tymes are diff then and now. but hey, they came here for werk didnt they? were they still patriotic? hell yes they are. so why is it wrong for ppl now to migrate to find work at some other place? isnt it the same situation?

its alwaes about this that we nvr agree on ay syaf? oh well. (:

aniwae. wnt out wit my "family" again to town. window shop. i was trying to be very malay-ish. hahaha. i mean not that im not malay. but i tried pronouncing every english word like how we pronounce it in the malay language. damn hilarious lah. oh yeh.

fizah: hendra, fazzie and massha's mom
syafiq rahmad: fizah's husband
hendra: my husband
fazzie: sister in law
massha: sister in law
dom: massha's husband

me and hendra, we just got married like last sunday. w/o mom's consent.
hendra's excuse: mom (fizah) was sleeping, n he didnt wana wake her up

so mom in law,
plz. restu our perkahwinan thank you. (:

2006-08-06T13:26:00.000+08:00

i admited something that i shud have never admit. goodness. aniway. i hate being in a very confuse state. i find myself being very indecisive. like wats up wit tat. somehow i cant accept reality. for real. its just hard for me to understand. im scared. so afraid of changes, in life esp. i gez thats me, indecisive. and what is up wit me with not accepting the fact. why am i so afraid of those confessions? im so afraid to even be in that position. im afraid that it wont turn out well. bottom line is, i dun noe wat i want. but i want something, but i aint sure wat is that particular thing. ok ignore me.

2006-08-04T20:05:00.000+08:00

how nonsense can my life be. i had to run 2.4km wit my strained muscles. omg. only god knows how painful it was. but yeh. manage to survive, which is a miracle. and overall, the timing, i improved but still fail. i told u it was nonsensical. like usually during sec sch obviously, my timing wud prolly be ard 19 or so. me and my darlings cudnt be arsed to even run. but heck, we, for four years did a dirty job by lying our timing. wahaha. so yes. this tyme around, i failed by half a min.

the passing mark is 18.20 for goodness sake!!!! but my oh-so-beloved school just wants to have that gold award for NAPHA (however u spell it). aniway. so coz of this oh-so-precious award. they do noe accept bronze awards! and that is superbly nonsensical i tell u. and the scores, they only showcase from A-D. they dun even include the D scorings. like omg. wats that for. blardy pangkret. aniwae. so for the MI standard, to freaking pass the 2.4 we need to finish it by 16.20 min. but. i came in like ard 17 min. hey. its an improvement aiite. but still a fail. pangkret.

oh yea. the pixes during my training in the zoo. =]]

yeaap. fatin and me =))

oh yes. we're making jigzaw puzzles too!!

i love playing wit these giraffes.

anita n atina..i think.

everyone in the booth =]

lol. dun comment.

haha. shes very nonsense.

hahaha. nice bin mate =]

its damn nice alr. zoo just loves to waste money

thats all. cudnt be bothered alr. aniwae. fazzie, here u go. my novel. =] hahaha.

2006-07-31T21:53:00.000+08:00

i was on the verge of dying i tell u. i mean like seriously, i sincerely don't want to be in a situation 2 years ago. i don't want that to happen. yes, things may be different now, ppl might get more matured. but heck, im sort of traumatized. i dont want history to repeat itself. maybe that guy was a jerk n maybe he isnt. but the possibilty of him ignoring me would be very high. fazzie, i never had confidence in myself, u should noe that. and yeh, the chances are very low. im not saying that i dont have a chance tho, but look at it, its a fact. an obvious fact really, that i will never be able to be in a place that i want to be. prolly yes, if i ever try. but looking at the kind of guy he is.. hah. it'll be a miracle if it realli happens. and miracles never ever happen, not in my life at least. and just now, was pure rubbish.

sometimes, things arent just meant to be told. but sometimes, wen ppl just noe u like at the back of their palms, they seem to noe everything. and thats u syaf. urgh. lol. but i seriously hope hes not that kind tho. i'll kill myself if he can read my mind. realli. but then again, not everyone can do that except for my bestie. so no worries. but, everyone seem to noe that he noes. im dead so dead. but how does he noes. shit la. i want to keep it right down in me, but its kinda impossible aye.

aniwae. did i ever mention that im gg to start work? wee* im gon work like on sats so yipee. had training last saturdae afta cross country. it was fun. u noe me and fatin. the wireless thingy is pretty cool. so yah. the worst thing ever is to have training in school half uni. freak sia. i mean ppl were like looking la. and ppl were asking endlessly. and knowing that MI is still considered new, i had to explain like 5 thousand times? we are still the camwhores. nth can change that i gez. ouh and gez wat. the hot GR is still workin. omg. hahaha. i should realli ask mahandran bout him. lol

omg. it took me quite a while to upload the pixes. so, i'll just post it wen the time comes. that will be the next post duh. =))

2006-07-27T19:23:00.000+08:00

fazzie. him? him who? goodness. that was soo shocking. since wenever was i interested in anyone *ahem ahem*.. ok fine, like seriously. i couldnt be arse to be involved in anything. ok prolly i am just maybe that im.. ok i dun noe how to put it.

school has been dead tiring. like literally. i could just drop dead. had make up lessons. that also means having 3 days in a row of PE. thanx eh thanx. i realli appreciate it. i feel my body workin so much better now. wow. im feeling the effect of it. lol. but ms ong was great, no one can deny that.

its parents meet tmr. damn fun la. realli, i just cant wait for all the shoutings that im gon get. i am so prepared for tmr comments. im gon be sharp tmr so wen the teacher says someting i'll defend myself.

nabz is on tv! ok wateva. haha. theres this debatin show that is up for auditions this coming sept. fizah really wanted our school to join and all but its only for those age 15-16 as on 31 dec 2007. opportunity wasted! but im not game for pressure now. altho i miss it. i miss nabz demandin an ans from me. i miss the nite research. i miss hanging out wit van, kev dev, iggy, melly and rajeev ouh matt n nabz of coz. i miss debating wit the unbeatables, nabz n matt. i miss having to sit down n realli discuss our case. i miss the glory of losing to RJ by half a point. i miss showing off my flare. i miss having fun. i miss the blazer. i miss the word point of information. i miss kev dev's craziness. i miss the biscuits. i miss the meeting till late nite. i miss the crapping. i miss iggy's encouragement. so yea. back to the show. nabz is one of the adjudicators. did i ever tell u his cute? minus his strictness during debating of coz. me n melly agreed that nabz is GREAT wen hes not debating. haha. ouh and everyone agreed his cute except for someone.

aniway. cross country is on this sat. OMG!! that means 4 days in a row of sufferin!! how nice. im looking foward!! haha. everyone has to run/ walk. obvious i'll walk. but its 3.2 km!! and in 45 min. ok im exaggeratin. wahaha.

im going back to work!!!!!! yeyyy!!like am working on saturdaes only. pretty cool ay. so yeh. more of auntie i-wonder, lyna, eken, siti, fatin, the animal presenters, mahudds, zookeepers. everyone la. ouh yehh. more of hek hek. lol.

ouh. and fazzie, i'll never ever tell him. its just to bizzare. and moreover, he's out of my league, too good for me. lalalala . n i'll nvr be good enough for him. oh well.

and syaf, my two coffees eh? tsk tsk.

hendra, i noe my eyes are small.. ahahaha. if im autistic, ur psycho!!

2006-07-23T22:17:00.000+08:00

we are privileged to be celebrating racial harmony day. im glad that we are taught to have respect for each others race and religion. its good to know that we, singaporeans do have high tolerance for each other. i know im the least patriotic human being alive but to come and think about it, i am darn lucky. lucky to be living in a place with so much respect. living in a place with so much understanding. living in a place where the is racial harmony.

prolly for some of us, racial harmony is just a day for us to learn and understand about another culture and religion. a day that we can celebrate harmoniously. a day that we can have the experience to put on another traditional costume. a day that we can simply enjoy oursleves. yes, that was wat i thought wen i was a kid.

but now, i know theres so much more to it. underneath that smile, im much more than just being happy. im proud of myself, proud of everyone around me. im glad that im not like some other freaks who just dont have any respect for others. im happy that we are not living in a country of prejudice.

if only the world were to be like us.

if only the world were to be mature and think like us.

if only the world has respect for each other just like us.

if only the world has much more tolerance.

if only the world had more sense. if only the world could compromise.

if only the world had that racial harmony pledge.

if only the world we to work together to success.

if only..

hah. if only.

there wont be any wars, if only...

there wont be innocent people dying, if only...

there wont be any prejudice, if only...

there wont be any racial discrimination, if only...

there wont be any religion discrimination, if only...

there wont be hatred, if only...

there wont be corruption, if only...

the world would be a better place, if only...

hah. fat chance. aniwae. wateva it is. had a blast wit my gfs. photos photos n photos. then a lil bit of crapping, nah, actualli a lot. then its back to photos photos n photos. u get my drift. skipped one hour and a half of PE!! lol. but we're gon have a make-up PE during our lunch break on tuesday. its still ok tho coz its gon be only 45 mins. so yeayy!

got my results back already. hmm. i flunk it like terribly, seriously. my econs and my management of biz is just BAD. n to think that this fri is parents meet, I AM SO DEAD. worst, dad's in town!! let me repeat myself, I AM SO DEAD. but anihow, for the rest, it was all borderline passes. gosh. Mr tan just needs to be damn strict. he CANNOT afford to be lenient. i'll SLEEP the moment he steps in. BAD! BAD! VERY BAD!! so mr tan, plz plz plz dun let me sleep. shout at me everytime i sleep!!! econs is just classic. sweet.

is really time for me to get back into biz. realli. more coffees up ahead!!! yipeee

i'll post up the billions of pixes the next entry. *smiles. =))

2006-07-18T22:10:00.000+08:00

goodness. its only been 8 days n you guys are complaining. at least i update not like some other freakos. wahaha.

ok. the only reason i dont want to update is because there is nothing interesting to update about, is there?

aniway. school has been CRAZY!. errm ya. got my acc paper back. it was bullshit. i just realize that, complacency suck! no really. so dont u guys ever try to be complacent. my malay paper was also bullshit. haha. ok fine. i screw up my mid years can?

eh wait.

i screw up my debate wit RJC too. ok not literally tho. its only for the reply wasnt it? heh =))
but yah. we were CLOSE k. i mean half a point difference? fucker. haha. the judge just didnt get our point. bias bustard.

nabil: how was it?
ms gong: we lost by half a point.
nabil: WTF? if ther lost, it wud just be SWEEEEET
us: yeah apparently that judge didnt get our point. he said that economic protectionism is NOT in line wit patriotism.
nabil: i already explained to u guys how its linked ryte?
me: yah. i said that already. kept on repeatin that point
nabil: who is the judge?
kevin: *saying out his name*
nabil: ask him to fuck my ass la.
me: matt gave us a wrong point about hitler conquering all the german-speaking ppl. haha
nabil: bloody bustard.

n gez wat. our life just could not be any better u noe. for the next debate, against ACSi, our judge was that judge who could not accept economic protectionism as a form of patriotism. nice.

then. it was all back to normal. no more pressure from nabz. no more crazy jokes from kev dev. no more trainings from matt n nabz. no more gg home at 8. no more fun. oh well. i dont know if i shud carry on debating. oh well.

i dun noe if i shud blog that thingy down about him. i'll get different comments i tell u. before blogging it down, i could predict how the comments will be like already.
*predictions*
A: u still on him???
B: girl, move on lah
C: are u crazy??
D: hah. i knew this would come back.
syafiq: WTF?
heira: omg. atika. u have to move on
fizah: i knew this would happen again
fatin: kau gile eh?? forget him la.

ok. aint gon blog about him. heh

2006-07-11T13:57:00.000+08:00

actions speaks louder than words. our conception of things might just be wrong. in fact it is always wrong. but wat is life without the misconceptions? bottom line is that life sucks.life is full of doubts. atleast, my life is full of insecurities. forget it.

im just a confused girl. realli i am. if u ever see me suddenly being so quiet, suddenly being so "moody" its because of this insecurities. this things would suddenly come crashing into my mind. leaving me unanswered questions about life, friends, family n about everything that is happening ard me. its quite difficult for me to reintegrate back to reality. therefore, i'll just keep it to myself.

2006-07-06T19:04:00.000+08:00

and so i thought i would be able to do my econs during the 2 hour break. heh.

ok so yest filled my brains wit whatever that i need to know for math. i was literally doin ALL the tutorials again. hardworking arent i?. oh well. but still. the math paper was ok. i could do it but hey it can always be wrong ryte. so yea. i've got no confidence. oh wait. since when do i ever have confidence? heh. 06c1 debaters would know and understand how confident i am everytime =))

i just lurve this song. ok part of the song. its from some jewellery ad.

"fly me to the moon, n let me play among the stars

in other words, please be true..

in other words, i love u"

heh. i kept singin it even wen im marchin larh. =)) . i know im not supoz to do that. but who cares.the song is too nice lar. ok this whole paragraph is so random.

ok back to what i was saying.

just now while i was listening to matt i was like thinkin "wth?. wat did i do during tat 2 hours break!!??" heh. let me see. crapping wit literally everyone, eat, sing that song repeatedly like for 5 billion times. trying to isolate myself by seating at that loner table so tat i could study. holy shit that didnt work. was trying to help ian wit econs when i cant help myself. cool ay?. ouh let me see. trying to study n i did kept quiet!! yeay. but still whatever i studied, it didnt came up. sweet.

u guys would think that im nuts. but yes. i didnt finish the econs paper. its not because i dont have time, its because...i dont know what to write. u can nvr bullshit for econs. thats what i hate about it. so somebody, plz kill me. seriously. u have the choice, shoot me or stranggle me.

it was so sucky la. the whole 2 hour 15 min was a bore i tell u. ok maybe for like 1 hr and 45 min i was doin some crap n thinkin. ok i shud not say thinking. coz i may look like im thinkin, but i really wasnt. my mind was totally blank. no concepts came into my mind when i did my essays. ouh and there were two essays. 2 parts to each question. and for every question i didnt do one part. im feeling guilty now. serious. i shud have studied. but wth. im screwed. anihu. so yeah. for the rest of the tyme i was practically doin nth. ok not realli. i was observing ppl. =)). im very observant. riggghhhtt

adlinda: wasnt doin anything. was writing some stuff but the rest of the tyme, she was looking ard doin nth
fizah: writing crappy shits. obviously. n most of the tyme, daydream. sweet.
fathuddin (seatin beside me on the right): writing all the way. no daydreams. no breaks. no putting his head on the table. u get my gist. HE WAS LITERALLY WRITING AWAY. dude, did u like used up all the paper that was given??
girl A (seating on the left side): writing all the way. NEATLY. {i didnt even write neatly, eventho i dun write loads of stuff. i gave my lazy handwriting. heh}
girl B (diagonally on the right side): writing some crappy stuff. lookin at the clock. n ouh yes. doin up her hair.
girl C (diagonally on the left side): ouh. she slept. n wrote stuff. lol
kevin: he was like very far away from me. but wth. he was too engrossed in that paper. not good for ur health man. lol
arid: another psycho who uses up all the papers.

so u see. i was bored. wen im not supoz to be.. it kinda freaked me out sitting in between of girl A n fathuddin. i mean. it was embarassin to let fathuddin to see my paper very clean. so i kept blocking my paper from his sight. lol. n girl A was giving me weird looks. shes prolly thinkin why i was so free n not in a rush. lol. ouh n out of 9 papers they gave, i used up only 4. im not trying to be proud or anything that i screwed my econs paper. but wth. wen its true, its true. i let it screw myself. my wrongdoing. my fault. my bad. someone, on a 2nd request, kill me.

anihu. went to McDee's. n met matt. lol. had debate training earlier today. im getting to get nervous. debate against RJC? n ACSi?. someone, on the 3rd request, kill me. i seriously hope we'll get thru the preliminary rounds. seriously. n i hope i'd get better by sat. because of this debate, im getting really contradicting. its not that i wasnt contradicting last tyme. but im gettin worse. wth. can u imagine rebuttin ur own speech. in 8 min u agree with patriostism n the next 8 min, u totally think patriotism is dead. holy shit. yeah. we doin both prop n opp in the same shit. stupid bastards.

n yea. my results are out.for my diploma's 1st module. haiiz. i got a freaking B wit 77 marks!!. yeayness. lol. 2 more marks to distinction!! haha. but im still aiite wit it. actualli im quite happy!! yeay. heh.

ouh. must i take my malay paper tmr?. zzzzzzzzz

2006-07-02T13:59:00.000+08:00

wokay. its been awhile aye.

marchin-syf

its been great
everyone was superb. seriously. except for some.haha
me n fizah were still talkin n singing the stand by me song. lol
there were like billions of peeps. ok not billions.
had to wait for like 2 hrs. which means two hours of crappin. which mean taking pixes also =))
had to wait for SOO long for our turn to do the march past.
we were all so good. haha. we synchronized our swinging of our hands. lol.
MI supporters rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!! (thet were like cheering for us lah. yeayy)
we were rooting for bowen n TK (but we were sitting at the deyi supporting side. lol)
n TK won!!!
we made it alive!!!. it was a good thing deyi didnt bash us up k. lol

debate

wokay. i am in the sch debate team. =))
its been realli hectic.
prliminary rounds: - MI (prop) against ACSi (opp)
- RJC (prop) against MI (opp)
just had to go against RJ u noe. urgh
the motion sucks. realli.

mid-years

im realli dead. realli.
shoot me plz, anyone.
and fazzie, u dun have to attend my funeral. u'r bz doin the mids.
none of u shud come.

me, firah n ali.

everyone except for fizah.

me n siti nur rosmah ayu n err fazzie fingers.

massha n me

fiz n fazzie.. =))

2006-06-27T21:04:00.000+08:00

i teared wen i read fizah's blog. its been a while since someone sincerely said that she lurves me. i noe she does. she noes me that well. she accepted me for who i am. she lived wit all my crappness. she endured all my shit. she was more to a sister than a fren.

i remembered when i asked her not to ever forget me. not to ever end this sweet friendship. never did i expect i could touch someones heart with a simple poem as a present. nvr did i expect she knew how essential it is for her being a part of me. never did i expect that she understood the need of her being beside me. being one of my pillar of strength. if it wasnt for her, i wudnt be anywer i am now. i wudnt achieve anything that i achieved now. i wudnt be me.

im more than happy to always noe that she'll be there for me. she was always there in my heart. darl, u got a place for urself in my heart since a long tyme ago. no one could atleast take that spot away from you. even if someone does, (which i dun intend to just loosen up that gate i had for u), i can nvr forget u. i can NVR. simply because u left footprints in my heart. u'll always be remembered. u'll always be lurved by me.

yes i agree, everything seems different now. everything seems blurry for me. with the new sch, the new environment, new friends. it may seem we might not be as close as before. but always remember, im alwaes here. alwaes with u.

we've shared great times. bitter ones as well. i could never deny that i was/used to be jealous of u. i alwaes wanted to be like u.u alwaes seem to be perfect. u were everything to everyone. n i was like nothing to everyone. but hey, i noe i got u. we did stupid stuff together. very stupid indeed. but it was all worth it. we learned from it n laugh together at it wen we're lookin back.

darl, i promise u it wont be over. it will never be over as long as im still able to live. an alwaes remember, u're alwaes in my thoughts. in fact, u're always in my heart.

lotsa lurve,
nurul atika

2006-06-22T14:42:00.000+08:00

oh well.. i see myself muggin in the early morn as usual, wit my coffee n mp3. =)) its an accomplishment!! oh well. give me tyme. rigghhht.

im starting to get addicted to math.
screw that fact. but it is true..=)) atleast i prefer math than econs.. other sensible ppl wud agree to that. realli. ok maybe except nabil. he lurves econs. screw u nabz. talkin about nabil. i miss him. like seriously. sincerely. oh buggers. how could i not miss my cousin? he looks just like me wen i was young. its true.

there was this one time when me n nabil accompanied his mom to her office. we were probably 4 that time. n wak nun's colleage was like " omg..are they twins?"..heh heh.

wateva it is. i miss his nonsense. i miss his craziness. i miss his accent. i miss going to school n meeting him during kindergarten. i miss playing pretend wit him. i miss the good old days.
on the other note.
he is coming back at the end of this year!.. yeayness. i wud soo lurve to see him botak (for ns). now that he is an afro.(dude, ur hair is getting out of control). oh well. atleast tats wat ur mom told us.

i didnt go for the mass suicide he organized. lol. its in perth wat do u expect. oh well. i'll shall have a mass suicide in singapore. everyone is welcomed to join us. or shud i say me. =))

anihu. im having my diploma exam tmr. ahh. ok. i've read thru my notes. and n i've alwaes payed attention in class. so i shudnt be worried. but..ahhhh..

i had debate camp last weekend. it was superb i tell u. =))

debaters are cute human beings.. *wink wink*
wrong statement.
that debater is cute.
period. doesnt sound right. he is way better than cute.
that debater is handsome.
could be better larh..
that debater is absolutely hot.
absolutely hot?. oh hell yeah. =]
gez wat. he is gonna be my sch debatin coach. hell yeah. plz let me in.. plz plz plz plz

wat were we thinkin?. me n nabil

we look like twins?.. err. dun mind the hair..=))

did he just bully me or wat?..hmph

sheer sweetness nabil..=]]

riiggghht.. no comments

hey look. i was a Mckid.. lol

lol. wat was i thinkin. my first ever kiss?. besides those kisses i gave my parents duh. look. nabz a Mc kid too.

ps. nabil. just had to blog about u..=)). we were kinda talkin about u at ur house yest. =))

2006-06-21T15:20:00.000+08:00

alast i have had my blog done. oh well. all thanks to whoever that deleted my email a/c. i realli appreciate that. really. sincerely. oh fcuk it. i cudnt be bothered to do up another a/c for friendster. oh well. lets just see how it goes.

i got a new hair cut! yipee. =))
u do noe i wanted a new hairstyle since yonks ago.
i've got all sorts comments.

fazzie: its ok. u look great. ur hair is neither straight nor curly. (haha. i noe..=)). great? err?)
fizah: gosh. u look like ms chong (errm, i shall take that as a compliment)
ili: hahahaha. u look weird (screw u, ili)
faz: atika u cut ur hair?..soo cute (cute?.. oh well. ugly but adorable aye)
syafiq : it is ok.like literally. (lol. u were laughing at me at on pt of time. b4 u saw my hair la. bleargh)
mom: u look different. (thanx mom..=)) i lurve u)
ali: why u cut ur hair?. (oh well)
heira: i like it. atika, it is nice ( heira, heira, heira. )
fairuz: aku suke (lol ruzy. )
ashraf: aiyo. why u cut ur hair? ( wateva la ashraf. hmph)

now tell me. shud i like my new hairstyle?. oh well. wateva it is, i have to stick to it aye.

ahh yes. my new skin is soo pink. i loike.

apparently. i dun think i wud be in the sch's debate team. =(( i mean. out of 7 or more, they wud only pick 5. gosh. n its not as if im THAT good that they have to let me represent the school. oh boy. n the others (bartley ppl included) are pretty much BETTER than me. oh well. just screw the want to be in that team. me represent MI?. fat chance.

ppl have been askin. why i desperately want to be in the team.
want to make the sch proud or coz of the oh-so-handsome coach ?
ofcozbcozoftheever-so-cutecoach

of coz the ultimate reason wud be to represent MI n make the sch proud. oh buggers. but hey, wudnt it be fun to have a cute coach?. oh well. =))

its just not my day..

2006-06-18T19:03:00.000+08:00

ouh well.. like the title says, its just not my day. gez wat. someone just hacked into my email a/c and deleted the whole thing. cool innit?.. so whatever that i signed up wit my email add cannot be used anymore. my friendster, blog n bla bla bla. it is just the most WONDERFUL thing that can happen to me. bleah. i have had it. but hey, doing up the a/cs all over again wud b fun ryte?. oh well. i am so miserable so pitiful. urgh. cant explain no more. i cant find any skins for the tyme being becoz apparantly they are under "construction"..boo hoo. oh well.. on the other note, i want to be in the sch's debate team. no, let me repahrase. i need to be in the sch's debate team.. plz plz plz. i'll tell u why in the next post. =))